Progressive Pioneer

Birth Story Movie

I was so excited to hear about this movie and all the wonderful reviews it got.  Ina May's books were so inspiring to me during my pregnancies.  But I was sad that I missed the one and only showing in Utah (back in November).  Did anyone else see it?  The good news is that you'll be able to download it to watch on April 30th!  I'm thinking I might have to gather up some girlfriends and popcorn for a little movie night:)

How to Get Ready for Birth

Okay, this post is totally not because I'm anywhere near getting ready for birth!  I haven't had that urge (yet?).  But I imagine this advice is plenty pertinent for quite a few of you, or someone you know.  There are so many things I wish I had known before getting pregnant and giving birth, things I wish I had prepared for.  If there is a third baby in our future, I'll definitely being trying a few of these tricks!

Birth Stories: Amy and Vivian's Story

Trying to imagine and anticipate birthing is like trying to imagine what the Grand Canyon looks like.  People can try to describe it.  "It's breathtaking, amazing.  The biggest hole in the ground you've ever seen!"  But, until you experience it, there's just no way to fully understand it.  All the reading, visualizing and preparation I did still didn't prepare me for the immensity of what we undertook that Saturday and Sunday.  Clayton was equally awed.

Saturday morning at 8:30 I went to our midwife Rebecca's to take some Blue and Black Cohosh and have her sweep my membranes.  The way she explains what the cohosh does is that it's like having an engine that won't turn over.  And the cohosh is like pumping the gas and turning the ignition- external actions that hopefully get the car to take over on its own.  I had "cohosh contractions" by mid-morning that were manageable, though close.  I listened to Hypnobabies and breathed and rocked through them every 2-3 minutes.  By early afternoon Rebecca came to check on me and decided to give me another dose and do another sweep.  She just wanted to make sure that my body took over and settled into a good pattern and that we didn't lose momentum.  After that things got much stronger and were still very close together.  By about 4pm I was having to vocalize through them.  Throughout all of this Clay was by my side giving me sips of coconut water, rubbing my back, and telling me a constant stream of positive, encouraging things.  Around 8pm Clayton called Rebecca, who could hear me in the background.  She decided to come over.  We already had the pool blown up and the basement all set up with everything we needed.  When Rebecca got there I was working through contractions on my hands and knees, on the birthing ball or leaning over the edge of the bed.  I couldn't stay still during them.  They were so close together, just a minute or two apart, and I would flop down limply to rest between them, but be positively compelled to rise and sway or kneel or something each time another one came on.  Rebecca convinced me to go outside for a little walk in the yard at some point just to give my mind a change of pace, I think.  If the neighbors didn't already think we were a little weird at this point, I'm sure they do now!  I had absolutely no shame and went right on with my moaning, humming and growling, leaning over the hood of the car during each contraction.

 

Finally when I was at 5cm Rebecca said I could get in the pool.  That was the last time she checked me.  She was very hands off, but encouraging.  Occasionally she would submerge her little monitor, placing it on my belly to listen to Vivian.  She squeezed pressure points in my hands and told me encouraging things ("One at a time, you only have to get through this one right now...  You can do anything for 60 seconds...").  Throughout all of this I was very much inside of myself.  I hardly opened my eyes, even between contractions.  I think I even took little power naps between them, which is hard to imagine.  I was definitely some place else, though.  I used Hypnobabies earlier on, but kind of lost it as I went to that other place, though really that may have been a benefit of all that deep relaxation that I practiced beforehand.  Clay put on some of the tracks while I was birthing and said later that he really noticed a difference in my body language while they were on. 

Even though I was very much in this primal place, there was a part of my brain that was watching myself and was utterly amazed.  I couldn't believe what a wild animal I was!  I didn't realize I would be so vocal, but boy was I ever!  And my body just took over in this amazing, hugely powerful way.  I never, ever pushed once.  My body was doing what it needed the whole time and I just tried to help it do what it needed to do as efficiently as possible.  When my body started pushing Vivian out, Rebecca tried to get me to slow down so I wouldn't tear, but it was like holding back wild horses!  I tried valiantly, but my body won out over my mind and Viv came flying out like a superhero!  Her head was only about halfway out and on that next push the rest of her head and whole body (with her hand up next to her head!) danced out into the water.  Clay said it was so neat to see her in the water, so graceful, moments before I picked her up. 

Her eyes were wide open and she cried right away.  Interestingly, she was covered in vernix and had quite a few other things that convinced Rebecca that she was much closer to 40 than 42 weeks.  So, somehow, despite our best laid plans, we miscalculated!  Rebecca said cohosh won't bring out a baby that isn't ready, and I feel quite sure that she was ready.  But it's so crazy that we attach these numbers and deadlines to pregnancy, when our bodies know exactly what they're doing.  No wonder she didn't come on her due date, if we were two weeks off. 

 

We waited for the cord to stop pulsing.  Rebecca clamped it and Clay cut it.  The placenta came out easily and was nice and healthy.  The only less-than-perfect things were some tears that needed stitches and a lot of lost blood.  But Rebecca gave me some pitocin and then another drug (it starts with M...?) and it eventually slowed, though I wasn't able to take more than a few steps in the following days without risking passing out.  But I feel a lot better now.  I think Rebecca was worried that I would be unhappy that I hadn't achieved my "perfect" birth, but I'm 100% thrilled!  In a way I'm grateful for the "less-than-perfect" aspects because I think most women, simply because of the model of care we implement here, end up with complications that make recovery longer.  I feel like I'm much more empathetic than if I had been able to be up and around immediately after the birth.  And I'm so excited for the next pregnant momma I know to give birth so I can be at her house doing laundry and making soup and whatnot.  My mother-in-law and sister-in-law have been her this whole week taking care of every little detail and have made this time absolute bliss.  I am so grateful for loving, generous service.  So many people have extended offers of help, congratulations and warmth. 

Vivian weighed 7lbs 6oz.  When Rebecca came back for a postpartum visit a few days later, she had only lost 2 oz and my milk was already in.  Clay thinks she's going to be a fat baby:)  He's the proudest papa ever (I love this picture below, only minutes after Viv was born) and has said that he can already feel himself turning to moosh over his little girl.  I think she'll have him wrapped right around her finger.  It was a really wonderful experience for Clay and I to go through this birthing together.  It's as much his triumph as mine as I couldn't have done it without him.  He was just perfect throughout the whole thing.  And having experienced that together, there's a new layer to our relationship, a new closeness and reverence for each other that we couldn't have achieved in a different way.

It was challenging, powerful, uncomfortable, eye-opening and life changing.  And yes, I would definitely do it again.

She's Here!

We are so in love!  Vivian arrived at our home August 1st at 2am.  There will be more details forthcoming, for now we're just enjoying lots of snuggling, relaxing and recovering.

xoxo, Amy and Vivi

41.5 and Counting

Good morning!  Sorry about the lack of a Make and Do post this morning.  I usually write them the night before, but last night I was blissed out at Rebecca's massage clinic and had tapioca for brains when I got home.  I just poured myself into some PJs and fell blissfully asleep; here's a visual below to give you an idea of just how relaxed I was:)  She totally worked me over with all her late pregnancy tricks; clary sage essential oil, various acupressure and reflexology points etc.  I'm amazed at how she can find the exact perfect spot, and also at how sore these random little spots can be.  I could tell when she'd found one for sure!  And she's so good about working on a spot until it's really done.  So often I'll get a massage and the person moves onto the next spot before they've really worked out the soreness in the first one; they just stick with their routine.  But Rebecca's really intuitive and her massages are amazing!

Tomorrow morning I'm heading in to our midwife's and we're going to try sweeping the membranes and taking some black and blue cohosh to get things started.  Monday will be 42 weeks and after that UT law says a licensed midwife can't attend you at home.  But, with Rebecca's fantastic massage and a bit of help from the cohosh, I think we'll be able to have a little birthday party this weekend.

I'll keep you posted!

Baby Girl Wishlist

I love making lists.  I've been making all sorts of lists in anticipation of Miss Vivian's arrival: homebirth supplies, tips for Sam's aunt who'll be watching him, freezer meals to make, things to get done before she arrives etc.  But this list is a little more fun, so I thought I'd share.  While the only thing we actually need is a second carseat, and maybe some new prefolds, there are certainly a few sweet and lovely things that would be fun to have.  Here's my list of pretty baby girl things that are fun to daydream about.

Stacks of Anna Maria Horner fabric for beautiful, luxurious receiving blankets, quilts, and even colorful outfits!

Anything white, frilly and feminine from Jottum.
Non-pink onesies and basic layering stuff from American Apparel.  It's nice to have a little variety in the color palette:)

 

We always just take the babies in the tub with us and hold them in our lap.  But this Puj tub or Spa Baby tub look like they might be pretty handy.  Has anyone used either of these?

Maybe some sweet soft toys too.  I know we don't really need them, but they're so cute!

Okay, and maybe some really darling handmade clothes, as long we're at it:)

Gardens and Belly Bliss

The other morning Sam and I met up with the rest of the learning co-op at Red Butte Garden for a field trip, wrapping up our month of nature lessons.  I was surprised at how long we were able to spend meandering through the paths with a gaggle of little ones.  They LOVED exploring the paths and plants.  At the end we spent some time in the children's garden where they were able to get thoroughly soaked in the fountain, climb on enormous lizard statues and crawl inside vine-covered houses.  It is a really magical place- for kids and grownups. Then, as if the day weren't lovely enough already, I dropped Sam off at his aunt's house and went and had the most blissful prenatal massage of my life!  Ooh, just thinking about it makes me go all squishy and relaxed again...  I had a few massages when I was pregnant with Sam, and they were good.  I mean, it's hard to go wrong with a massage, especially when you're pregnant and achy.  But this was in a whole separate category of its own.  Rebecca Overson (remember her beautiful birth story?) has a peaceful little office just around the corner from my house where she works muscle magic.  The thing that made her massage different is that I could just tell that she had been pregnant before.  She just knew exactly where the sore spots were and how to work them out.  Oh, and the coolest thing?  I got to lay on my stomach!  That alone was practically worth it.  I havn't laid on my stomach for months, and it's one of those random things you miss.  But she has these special adjustable pillows so you can lay all supported and face down. 
I'm such a believer in taking time for Mom.  I was so sweet to Sam and Clay after having a little pampering myself.  And it doesn't always have to be something like going out and getting a massage (but sometimes, it does!), a quiet walk, half an hour with a book or in a bubble bath, these go a long way to restoring balanace and sanity and making me feel human again.  But, if you're preggie right now, a few massages from someone who knows about pregnancy aches and pains, are just what the doctor ordered!  And seriously, if you have a pregnant friend, forget the cute baby clothes, toys etc.  Just get her a certificate for a prenatal massage.  You will be her best friend!  I think Rebecca even has a few specials going on right now, including a new client special.  You can also get credit toward your own massage if you refer friends (doesn't everyone know at least have a dozen pregnant ladies?).

Choosing a Name for Baby

For some reason I always get stressed out picking baby names; it's just so IMPORTANT!  I always want a name that comes to me like a thunderbolt and I just know it's the one.  But, so far that hasn't happened.  Instead we have a list of about half a dozen names where I think, "Yeah, that one could work..."  So we decided to just pick our top one and try it on for size for a little while. 

Sam was instrumental in deciding which name was #1.  He has very strong opinions on baby names.  In fact, he hasn't liked a single one we've suggested.  I often ask him, "Do you like this name?  How about this one?"  And the answer is always "No!"  Until we suggested Vivian.  And he is adamant that the baby's name is Vivian.  We were driving home from Idaho, talking about baby names and asking Sam for his input. Vivian was the first name he's ever answered "Yes!" to.  We asked him several times, in various ways and he always insisted on Vivian.  Now if you ask him what the baby's name is, he will tell you unequivocally, "it's Vivian!"  I'm open to the idea that perhaps he has more insight than we do into the baby's preferences, and so we're trying out Vivian (Vivi for short) for awhile.  What do you think?

Have you tried out Name Voyager?  Even if you're not shopping around for a baby name, it's fun to see the stats on your own name.  Another source for name inspiration that I've been turning to is the Social Security Index.  You can search by decade to find the top names all the way back to the late 1800s. 

For a good giggle, check out Utah Baby Namer, especially the "best of" page, or the book Bad Baby Names .

Preparing for Baby: Books for the New Big Brother

Sam has known and been interested in the idea that there's a baby in my tummy for quite some time.  Though, to what extent his understanding extends, I'm not so sure.  I'm quite sure, however, that he doesn't grasp the changes that will occur in our home when a new little life becomes intertwined with ours.  To help prepare him for this, I've been checking out books from the library about babies, to weave into our bedtime story routine.  He loves them!  He likes looking at the pictures of babies and pregnant moms and talking about what's happening in the pictures, what the baby needs, and what the big brother is doing.  It's really a lot of fun.  A wordless board book about a new baby was tied with his favorite bug book for a few days as his preferred potty time reading material. 

Here are some of our favorites:

Our New Baby: I think that's the title, but I couldn't find a link. Sam really loves looking at the pictures and talking about them.  The pictures facilitate good conversations about what having a new baby will be like, and since there are no words you can adapt the story to your family's situation.

The Sears Children's Library: We got What Baby Needs and Baby on the Way .  We love these because they mostly represent our family with easy mention of baby wearing, skin-to-skin snuggling, breastfeeding, both parents being involved etc. 

Welcome With Love : This is a cool story about a home birth and a wonderful way to talk about birth as a safe, natural, normal event that is important to the whole family.

Swimming in a (Free!) Sea of Pink

Clayton came home from Idaho with the trunk full of treasures from his cousin; bags and boxes full of baby girl clothes!  I didn't realize that I like pink as much as I do, but I kind of swooned at the floral explosion and pink and purple preciousness. 

I've only purchased a handful of clothing items new for Sam; a couple pairs of shoes, a jacket, maybe a few other things.  We received so many great hand-me-downs and the thrift stores are just chock full of practically new stuff that I couldn't see any good reason to buy new stuff except for the pure entertainment value of shopping.  But, that entertainment factor can definitely be found in thrift store shopping as well.  I love the high of finding a true treasure for mere pennies!

Besides being light on the wallet, using previously-used stuff is kinder to Mother Nature.  We produce so much STUFF that it seems silly not to pass it around, rather than throw it out and create more.  I'm certainly not into dressing my kids in ugly stuff (luckily Clay's cousin has great taste; I loved everything and it was all in immaculate condition!).  When I peruse the thrift racks I've got my eyes out for good brands and quality materials. 

 

It really was delightful to to be knee deep in tiny frilly things.  It made me so excited for our little girl to arrive!  

What are some of your favorite second-hand sources or best thrifting success stories?

LDS Holistic Living

I'm so excited about this conference coming up in June!  Remember the great Herbs 101 class I went to?  The woman who taught the class is the mastermind behind the conference and it promises to be amazing and inspiring.  The mission of the conference is "to help all people draw closer to Christ by discovering His hidden treasures of knowledge for the health and healing of the mind, body and spirit."  I absolutely love thinking about how our bodies are designed to be healthy, how we are built to be happy and how the paths to those things are often the simplest routes; so inspiring!

There are six hour-long sessions throughout the day where you can choose from a whole range of lectures and classes to attend.  There's also time for a lunch break and time to peruse all the vendors that will be there.  Here's what I think I'll be taking (it's so hard to choose, though!):

Pain Relief without Medication

Pain is almost always a sign of inflammation, which is the body’s primary response to tissue damage.  In this class, I’ll cover what happens when tissues get injured and how inflammation can be rapidly reversed.  I’ll demonstrate basic techniques for completely relieving pain in minor injuries in 5 to 20 minutes.  I’ll also talk about how to apply these same principles to ease chronic aches and pains.  

Sweet is the Work: Peaceful Mothering in a Chaotic World. 

Sharing the triumphs and errors in mothering that have taught valuable lessons.  Simple ideas to incorporate into our lives to strengthen ourselves and our families and bring more harmony to our hearts and homes.

The Miracle of Birth

God has designed families. A mother’s purpose is divinely given. Inspiration is available to guide us. Pregnancy and labor are natural, normal processes with both physical and spiritual benefits. You can have a natural birth—I’ll share tips on how to prepare. 

The Top 10 Essential Oils and How to Use Them:
Learn easy ways to incorporate oils into your daily routine and heal your family.  Jonelle will be sharing her favorite top 10 oils, their uses, how to use them and make simple blends.  Jonelle likes to call the oils her “friends”. They are always there to help and make things better. How oils affect the body and emotions simultaneously, and make a difference daily. Bring your nose for smelling and sampling!

Pass the Sugar, Please!

On average each American eats 30lbs of sugar per year. Come learn how to eat sweet healthily. Discover alternative sweeteners found in nature. Learn the facts about High Fructose Corn Syrup and processed sugars. Balance your palate to make naturally sweet foods sweeter. Over 100 recipes have been gathered and will be shared, including Green Drinks and naturally sweetened treats!  GREAT class for diabetics.

You can read about the various speakers and what they'll be teaching here (scroll down) and more details on the conference blog.  If you'll be in Utah this coming June I hope to see you there!!

MamaViews: Donna of Banned From Baby Showers

I'm so excited to have Donna with us today.  I found her blog via my pregnant sister-in-law who found her site to be a treasure trove of information.  One thing that I love about Donna, and I hope she won't mind me saying so, is that she's this wonderful combination of Texas cowgirl and passionate birth advocate.  This is so awesome!  Natural birth doesn't have to be a "crunchy" thing; every woman, no matter her style, or niche in society should have a natural, healthy birth!  It makes me really happy to see all sorts of women awakening to the benefits of natural birth.  Donna gives some wonderful, thoughtful answers today; I think you'll really enjoy her perspective. The title of your blog “Banned From Baby Showers” is so intriguing.  You mention that you think that baby showers tend not to treat birth with reverence, and thus, you chose not to participate in them.  Why do you think the cultural ritual of baby showers exists as it does and what would you recommend to women looking for a different way to welcome babies into the world? 

I saved this question for last, which is funny since it's the first question!  You are a wonderful interviewer, Amy.  Your questions are thought-provoking and bring to life what someone is doing and how others can apply it in their lives. 

I have never really given thought to the solution to the American Baby Shower.  It is such a nice gesture to buy things for a mother-to-be.  We all know people that are having their 3^rd girl and are having another baby shower.  What could you possibly need?!  Baby showers seem more like a solicitation of gifts to many of us --  me included.  But that is not why I do not attend baby showers.

Welcoming a new baby into a family is the most reverent event a family can experience.  Baby showers are usually filled with awful birth stories, laughing about inductions and c-sections, and horror stories about bloody, blistered nipples.  They even make games centered around these topics.  You've probably played the candy bar/concentration game that when the “epidural” cards match up, you get a package of Lifesavers.  (I always get the Lifesavers and I refuse to eat them.)  Baby showers are the manifestation of all the mis-information out there.  I always want to turn it into a childbirth class, in which it falls on deaf ears.   I can't keep my mouth shut, I'd like to keep my friends, and frankly, people are happier not knowing why they should care about how their baby gets here.  It's easier to not take responsibility when it comes to giving birth.

The solution?  I don't know.  How do we bring the c-section down from 33% (in North Texas it's 50%!)?  It's all become such a part of our culture and the majority of Americans do not realize the significance of these numbers for the health of mothers and babies and the effects on the cost of healthcare. 

When I have had friends or students that are having an unmedicated birth, they are concerned about the discussion at their showers.  Some have politely stated that they would only like positive, uplifting stories to be shared.  Same with the games.  This is not 7^th grade.  We do not have to make fun of bodily functions to talk about how the body works.  It should be treated with a reverence and respect for how our Heavenly Father created us as women.  Medicine rarely improves upon this process of labor and birth and usually does more harm.

Speak up and let your wishes be known about what kind of shower you'd like to have.  And if this is your 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th baby, treat it as a welcoming of this new life instead of a gift-giving affair.  The atmosphere will automatically be more respectful, and you might even have better attendance!

You describe yourself as an all-American girl; bleached hair, country music, the works.  Yet, your approach to birth and parenting is less mainstream.  Do you find yourself straddling two worlds or are you seeing more “crossover,” with otherwise “mainstream” women seeking out what are normally thought of as “alternative” birth options?

Amy, I have to tell you, it's not just country music, but Tim McGraw!  I am quite the fan, to say the least!   I love America and I love living in Texas!  But as a state and as a nation, we are so unbelievably turned around when it comes to maternity care.   There is this built-in trust in the medical establishment and we forget to think for ourselves and ask questions.

Over the last couple of years, I am happy to report that I am seeing more “crossover,” between “mainstream” and “alternative.” There have been several birth movies come out in the last couple of years (“The Business of Being Born,” “Orgasmic Birth,” “Pregnant in America” “Born in the U.S.A.”) which have contributed heavily to couples being more informed about maternity care.  In these movies, we see birth as it truly is – in and out of the hospital – and most people have never seen real birth.  Our views are so distorted by the media where birth is nearly always a life and death situation.  These birth movies have given women hope and inspiration.  Birth does matter.  It matters on every level of who we are and how we parent our babies. 

The progression seems to go something like this:  Watch a birth movie.  Enroll in a natural birth class.  Possibly change care providers/locations who support natural birth. Have an amazing birth.  Breastfeed.  Start cloth diapering and making your own baby food.  Wear your baby in a sling.  Co-sleep or bedshare.  Before you know it, you have gone from “mainstream” to “crunchy” without even realizing it!

My focus as a natural childbirth educator is to reach the mainstream and help them understand that this is not about being “crunchy” or alternative.  It's simply about doing what we, as women, are made to do.  Our bodies are amazing, and to numb the experience of childbirth is a shame.  We avoid drugs throughout the pregnancy and load up in labor.  It doesn't make sense.  “Mainstream.”  “Alternative.” “Crunchy.”  How about just “Woman.”

  How did you come to be a birth advocate?  What is the story behind your activism?

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I was all about the drugs.  I didn't want to know anything.  I was terrified of giving birth.  I had absolute confidence in my doctor – he does this everyday and I've never done this.  I read the standard “What to Expect When You're Expecting” and “Your Pregnancy Week by Week.”  I took the hospital class which prepared me to be a good patient.  I had the classic American birth.  Epidural, every intervention under the sun, fetal distress from the whole ordeal, and barely escaped a c-section with the help of my sister-in-law who happened to be a doula. 

Between my first and second babies, I learned a lot!  I had friends that were giving birth without medication and having these amazing experiences.   I started reading better books (!!) and took a Bradley class.  I gave birth without intervention or medication with the second birth and it was truly a transformative experience.  I did this thing that everyone said I couldn't do!  I wanted to tell everyone I met, “Hey, I gave birth without medication.  You can do it too!”

I had a water birth at home with our third baby, and it was after that when I just knew I had to do something with this passion.  Birth is just amazing and women spend their whole pregnancy fearing that day instead of embracing it.  I hope that my enthusiasm rubs off on my students.  Yes, birth is hard.  I am the first one to admit that, but you come out stronger on the other side.  I've seen relationships fostered through the hard work of preparing for labor and self-confidence and self-esteem blossom in so many women.  I want this for all women.  Ultimately, what's good for mom is good for baby.

My latest form of activism is starting the Tarrant County Birth Network, a chapter of BirthNetwork National, with two other birth professionals in the Fort Worth area.  It is a non-profit organization that promotes Mother-Friendly care based on the CIMS (Coalition for Improving Maternity Services) guidelines.  It will serve as a resource, both online and within the community, where expectant couples can get evidence-based information and connect with the care providers that provide Mother-Friendly care.

  What do you think are the three most important things a pregnant woman can do to prepare for her best birth?

I have a saying.  Anyone who reads my blog is familiar with it:  Education and a supportive birth team are the keys to a happy, unmedicated birth.  

1. I think it is crucial that a couple take an out-of-hospital class, whether it's Bradley, Hypnobirthing, Birthing From Within, etc.  Hospital educators have their hands tied when it comes to the information they can give you.  They prepare you to be a good patient, but you don't really get the full story on the risks of inductions, fetal monitoring, epidurals, c-sections, etc.
2. Practice the relaxation you are taught in class.  This is awkward, no doubt.  Do you want to practice in the privacy of your home when it's just the two of you, or when you're in labor and the nurses and midwife are watching you?!  Even if the mother wants it absolutely quiet (there's no way to know how she'll be), she will go to those relaxing places in her mind in labor.  It also helps build confidence in your body and your ability to relax.  Imaging yourself relaxing in labor, during pregnancy, is very beneficial.
3. Hire care providers that see birth as a natural process.  A lot of doctors will tell their clients “I'll do whatever you want me to do,” with the clause, “as long as everything is going ok.”  I'm not really happy with that answer.  There's no reason to think the natural process can't take care of itself.  Dr. Bradley's attitude sums it up best:  The doctor or midwife should act as a “lifeguard” -- observing but not interfering.  He expected his couples to be trained in normality, and he was trained in abnormality.  His c-section rate was 3%.  Birth is hard enough with a supportive birth team cheering you on.  It's nearly impossible when you are surrounded by people who don't believe in your abilities to birth your baby. There is no room for fear in the birth place.

 

Can you give us a list of your favorite birth education and preparation books?  Maybe even some attachment parenting books, too.  Any that you think are crucial for moms to read.

I do have a list that I give my couples.  It's very simple, really. 

Dr. William Sears is the author that started me on this path of natural birth, breastfeeding, and attachment parenting.  Anything he has written I highly recommend. 

Anything by Ina Mae Gaskin, CPM, will build confidence in this process.  Her approach to birth is so sensual and exciting.  You cannot read her material and fear birth. 

What kind of Bradley teacher would I be if I didn't mention “Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way ” by Susan McCutcheon?  I usually tell my students that if they are only going to read one book, this is it. 

“Mind over Labor ” by Carl Jones is a great little book with lots of relaxation exercises that make it easier to practice.  His commentary is also inspiring. 

Another book I recently stumbled upon is “25 Ways to Awaken Your Birth Power .”  It is a book and CD set.  The artwork is amazing.  You can have your partner read to you, or you can pop in the CD and have it read to you.  Again, embracing of the birth experience -- left with feelings of excitement and not fear.

A subscription to Mothering Magazine is a must.

My 3 books I recommend for a library after having a baby: 

1)      The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears

2)      The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding – La Leche League

3)      Smart Medicine for a Healthier Child by Zand, Rountree, and Walton

Donna, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and so much great information with us today.  Keep in touch!  

And the Ultrasound Says...

We went and had a high tech ultrasound to make sure everything's a-ok with the little one.  Given our experience with Sam, we wanted to be extra sure that there were no complications with this one.  Plus we wanted to know if we're having a boy or a girl!  It was so beautiful to see all those perfect little ten fingers and toes, a brilliant-looking brain, a strong heart, beautiful bones and a perfectly intact tummy with all the organs right where they're supposed to be!  Every parent, I'm sure is relieved to know that their baby is developing normally, but after having a baby where things happen in a slightly different manner it is just so much more poignant and I felt so grateful looking at that ultrasound screen.  It is amazing that the majority of pregnancies produce absolute perfect little humans.  What a miracle!
We are so in love with this little miracle already.  And, we were thrilled to discover that we are having a... girl!!  We would have been happy with a little brother or sister for Sam, but my head is already swimming with lacy little things, dolls and all things sweet and lovely.  I am SO excited to start making little girl clothes.  What could be more heavenly? Remember how I was asking about tips to get a girl?  We employed the Shettles method, and well, apparently it worked!  So, I give it my full endorsement if you're thinking of trying for one sex or the other.  Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a great book if you're thinking about this subject. Interestingly, throughout the pregnancy we've been asking Sam to reveal whether the baby is a boy or a girl, but he's kept entirely mum on the subject.  We figured that he might have some insight into the subject, having so freshly arrived.  But all he would ever says when we asked was, "baby" or "family."  He came up with the family thing on his own, we never talked to him about how the baby would be part of our family, but that's what he always said whever he mentioned the baby.  Maybe it was his way of reminding us that it didn't matter if it was a girl or a boy, all that mattered was that it would be part of our family.  But at the ultrasound place, just before the big reveal, we asked him again, "Is the baby a little brother or a little sister?"  "Sister!" he said emphatically.  I guess he figured we were about to find out anyway.

Birth Stories: KC and Sofia

I'm so excited to begin this series of birth stories.  Every birth is so powerful and unique, each a miracle in its own way.  Between now and our baby's birth in July, I'm going to be sharing a story each week of a beautiful birth to serve as inspiration, education and a point of reflection and source of empowerment.  I hope you will enjoy reading them as much as I have enjoyed reading all the wonderful stories that have poured into my inbox (if you've been considering sharing yours, please do!  I don't know if I'll be able to share them all, but I've read and enjoyed every one and we still have plenty of weeks to share before July!)

KC says of her daughter Sofia's birth, "I get so filled up with joy every time I think about the experience that I feel as if my heart will burst!"  Here is the story in her own words:
My daughter Sofia was born on October 21st 2009 but her story really begins two days before that on Monday. That afternoon I went for my weekly visit with my midwife. I was extremely heavy, tired and wanted so much to get the show on the road! I was feeling anxious and flustered all day. So during my appointment when she told me my blood pressure was a little high, I was afraid she was going to tell me I couldn't give birth at the birth center. She sent me home that afternoon with all the necessary containers to do a 24 hour urine sample to test. When I got home, I cried in my mom's arms for at least half an hour.  She told me to cheer up, that I was going to have this baby tomorrow!

The next morning, which was Tuesday, my mom and I went for my morning walk. I thought it would do me good to get some air. Maybe it would help get things rolling. Halfway through our walk I started feeling twinges as if I had been dancing the twist too much, so my mother let me lean on her shoulder the rest of the way home. Around 1pm I wasn't feeling too hungry, but knew I needed to eat something for Sofia, so I had a salad and then sat on the couch with my mom. Next thing I knew I started having back pain. I thought to myself, "This is funny I've never had back pain with my Braxton-hicks before." Over the next three hours they continued to get stronger and stronger. I walked up and down the halls and rocked in circles on my birthing ball, breathing rhythmically . At 4pm I called my midwife Judith to tell her I had to come in, that my contractions were 2 minutes apart and 60 seconds long. I called my husband and told him to come home right away. By the time he arrived my mom had gotten all of my stuff packed in her car. By 5:00 we were headed to the birth center.

The first thing I wanted to do when I got to the birth center was to take off all my clothes. I felt completely primal, as if being naked was the only way to do this. The birth center here in Tucson is much like a house with a kitchen and 3 bedrooms. I was lucky enough to get the larger room with the tub, as no other births were happening that night. I lay down on the big queen bed and Judith checked to see how far along I was. At 5:30pm I was 60% effaced and 6 cm. At this point I went into a meditative state, paying attention to only what my body needed. My mom and my husband helped to support me and rock with me when I needed it.  Around 7:00 I got into the tub as I my body yearned to float in the water. Judith checked me one more time and with that contraction my sack of water broke. What an amazing release of pressure.  From that moment on I did not get out of the water until my daughter was born. Through deep breathing, I put myself into a state of deep meditation, so deep that I no longer felt my arms or legs. The only part of me I focused on was moving with the waves of my contractions and the in and out flow of my breath. I could only use my eyes to communicate as I felt I could no longer speak.

Around 10:30 I felt the most wonderful feeling in the world: the urge to push. I didn't need to be told when to do it, or how; my body just did it. It felt beautiful and powerful to vocalize with each push.  Occasionally Judith would remind me not to strain my arms when holding my legs and to keep my muscles loose. At this point the heat from my actions became overwhelming and I felt like I was in a sauna. My mom gently fanned me while my husband replenished the ice water wash cloths I had on my forehead and chest. When the ring of fire came between my legs I knew it wouldn't be much longer before I met Sofia. When she finally came out, Judith pulled her from the water and put her on my chest. She immediately snuggled deeply into my breasts as we waited for the cord to stop pulsing. I was completely amazed by the power of what I had just done, while everyone else was crying with joy, I was basking in the glorious feeling of having joined this ancient club of motherhood. As I held Sofia I said to her,  "We've taken this first amazing leap, now the real journey begins."  After birthing the placenta,  Sofia was handed back to me and we tried breastfeeding for the first time. She latched on like a pro, and the three of us snuggled the rest of the night. I couldn't sleep a wink, I just kept playing the experience over and over again in my head. images from Stock Exchange.

Call for Birth Stories

I've really been wanting to create a space to share positive, empowering birth stories.  Birth is such a transformational, magical experience that deserves to be celebrated.  So often it's the negative ones that we hear the most.  I don't know what it is about human nature, but we seem more eager to share the heartrending or traumatic, than the simple, peaceful and natural.  But, as women, I think we need to be better about sharing positive stories so that we can create a culture of positivity and optimism about birth.  Of course, I'm coming at this from a slightly selfish view; I'm looking for all the positive birth associations I can to feed into my psyche in preparation for the big day in July!  So, I'm asking all of you to share your positive stories of natural birth.  If you know other women who have uplifting stories to tell, please ask them to share as well.  I'd like to post a story once a week until this summer, a small step toward recreating our cultural image of birth into something more natural, more healthy, more joyous and more empowered.  You can email the stories to me at progressivepioneer@gmail.com.  Here's what I'm looking for:

• Positive experiences only, please.  For example, I tend not to share the scary details of Sam's birth with other women (especially expectant mothers!), only the emotional/spiritual aspect of it.  While acknowledging and appreciating that there are situations that call for medical intervention (my first birth being one), I'd like to keep this a forum that showcases natural births.
• Four paragraphs or less.
• The who, what, when and where (ex: you, your husband and midwife at home with a birthing pool, slow walks around and around your yard on an August summer night etc. etc.)
• Techniques that helped you (visualization, birthing ball, vocalizing, massage, water etc.)
• How you felt!
• Meeting the new little one.

Of course, each person's story will be special and unique, so share what makes your story special.  I hope to hear from a lot of you!  I really appreciate when women take the time to encourage and support each other.  And I think it's so important to tell our stories, both for the exercise of listening and of being heard.  It's important to be heard, to share and to listen. 

Book Review: The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth

For understandable reasons, pregnancy and birth have been on my mind lately.  Somehow it seems like when you're pregnant, the whole world is pregnant; preggie ladies just come out of the woodwork!  At playgroup yesterday much of the conversation revolved around pregnancy and birth stories, most of them less than delightful.  The thing that strikes me about so many women's stories is the trust they put in one paradigm and how control of their birth quickly slips out their hands leaving them feeling powerless, frustrated and often wishing their birth had been somehow different.  I feel so defensive of these woman, upset that they didn't get the birth that they had hoped for, and sad that their trust was somehow violated.  And I get frustrated with a system that works great for emergencies, but more often than not ends up intervening when mother nature and the birthing woman should simply be allowed to do their thing. 

I think the answer lies in educating ourselves.  When a profit stands to be made from unnecessary interventions (keep in mind that I'm not talking about necessary interventions here!), we will be hard pressed to find advocates within the medical model for natural births.  However, by learning what constitutes a normal birth and safe, normal birthing conditions we can arm ourselves with the knowledge necessary to have the sort of birth we want!

I love this book because it gives you every angle, every argument for the various ways there are to birth.  It puts all the information at your fingertips and puts you in the driver's seat.  You can decide for yourself if a certain risk is high enough to warrant the inherent risks of interventions and treatments that some claim are necessary.  You get to make the choice because you are educated and it is, after all, your birth and your body.  I love feeling empowered and I love seeing other women empowered by knowledge; it's so exciting and liberating!  The Thinking Woman's Guide is just the book to help women calmly make decisions that are best for themselves and their babies.  And this is no hippie tome ignorant of current medical trends; it's got all the latest information on medical procedures, what they're about, why you might need them etc.  It looks objectively at both sides of the coin and gives you the information you needs to make the best choice for you.  I love it!

Hand Woven Fabric, Handmade Sling

I love my Moby and Clay swears by the Baby Bjorn, but I've been thinking about one of those simple, pea pod type slings for awhile.  You know the ones that are basically one big loop of fabric?  I found a great tutorial online and they really are as simple to make as they look. I've had this huge square of fabric that my Guatemalan mom wove for me when I spent a summer in Guatemala during college.  It was just like the ones all the women carried their babies in and she presented it to me, saying it was to carry my own babies in some day.  Unfortunately, I never could get the tying technique down, but I thought that turning it into a sling would be the perfect thing. The whole time I was sewing I kept thinking about Katarina's gnarled hands weaving the threads over and under, over and under.  The loom they use is called a back strap loom.  It's anchored to the wall at one end and wrapped around their back at the other such that they lean against it to keep it taut, sitting cross-legged on the dirt floor.  Katarina spoke little Spanish and I spoke only a few words of her indigenous Mayan language, but there was much communication in the simple acts of caring for each other; cooking, sharing our cultures' foods, she washed my clothes and I brought her back little treats from the market, and of course, much was said, if not in so many words, as she handed me this special cloth before I left at the end of the summer. You can read the tutorial for more details if you want to make your own, but the basic process was to fold a rectangle of cloth, trim one end so it's a bit rounded (this makes a cozier pocket for baby), sew the rounded ends together and hem off the raw edges.  Easy as pie! 

Even though this is really more to use with the new baby, I was pleased to see that it works so well for carrying Sam on my hip when I need both hands free.  It's surprisingly comfortable and he seems to like it as well.  Oh, and I couldn't help but make him a pair of matching stripey pants with the leftover material:)  The material is so sturdy, perfect for play pants.

BIG News!!!

Okay, I have been keeping mum about this for three long months, but I have been just dying to share that... we're expecting!!!  We're so excited to grow our family.  Little Thompson number four will be arriving sometime in the middle of July.  The plan is to birth at home, attended by our lovely midwife Rebecca.

Because Sam was born via scheduled c-section due to his tummy troubles (all involved, midwives, surgeons and parents, knew this was the best and only option for him to arrive here safely), this next baby will be a VBAC.  I'm not too worried about it though; statistically there's an increased risk, but I'm strong and healthy and I think my body knows what to do. Initially I thought I would have the baby at Rebecca's birthing suite, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that she brings all the necessary equipment with her; there's nothing that the birth center has that she can't bring along.  And the idea of going through the whole process, uninterrupted, in my own home just sounds infinitely more appealing.  We'll set up a pool ahead of time, and soon I'm going to start a Hypnobabies course.  I'm really excited about this.  I love the idea of being more in control of how I experience the birth, and I think that as someone who tends to take a more cerebral approach to things, it will be great to have some tools to help me just let me body do its thing.

Remember when I mentioned the pile of pretty fabric waiting to be made into something special?  I think I know just the little blanket to make...

images via here, and here.

Gearing Up

Clay and I are thinking about expanding the Thompson clan.  And so begins the rigorous routine of vitamins, green smoothies, mama tea, building up the immune system, lots of protein and 2+ quarts of water a day-- phew!

I'm taking Rainbow Light prenatals (not pictured; somehow Sam's probitics got in there instead of the prenatals).  It's a basic all-in-one recommended by both the midwives in Maine and my naturopath here.  In addition to that it's fish oil for omegas and healthy brain development in the little one.  Then there's a calcium powder to mix with water.  I chase the fish oil with that; it's fizzy and wipes away any aftertaste not covered by the strawberry flavor.  And finally a plant-based iron supplement rounds out the whole arsenal.  I used to think my parents were so weird for taking vitamins and here I am with a fridge full of them!  I feel more comfortable knowing I'm covering all my bases though.  But I still think that food is the ideal place to get your vities. 

The daily green smoothies are much more enjoyable to take.  Greens are full of folic acid and I'm sure the fruit is full of goodies too, though mostly I just like it for the taste!  I've been picking kale every morning from the garden.  It's so hardy and will even stay alive in the snow!  Next year we plan on planting rows and rows of it towards the end of the summer so we can just keep harvesting it almost through the winter.   

And now that I've got all that planned and out of the way, the really important question is, who has tips on how to get a girl?

 

Book Review: Hypnobirthing, The Mongan Method

I kept hearing about hypnobirthing; it was all over the web, random people would tell me they'd hypnobirthed or knew someone who did.  Right when I was deciding that the universe was trying to tell me I needed to check out hypnobirthing for my next pregnancy, I got a box full of hypnobirthing books, CDs and DVDs in the mail!  I was so excited to dig into all the literature, I finished the book in a few days.  Thank goodness Sam is still an avid nurser; it's the only time I get to sit down and read!  I haven't watched the DVDs yet, but I'm really excited; they show several actual hypnobirths!

The book was great.  It just makes so much sense.  The basic premise is that our bodies are designed to birth.  So, all this screaming, pushing and crazy medical intervention is really not necessary (in the case of normal, low-risk births).  Have you ever watched an animal give birth?  I watched our cat give birth when I was a little girl and it left such an impression on me.  I remember that my parents had dinner guests.  "Where's Amy?" they might have asked, "Oh, she's in the den watching the cat give birth."  "Oh, of course..."  It was one of the neatest things I'd ever seen and I can still remember how calm the mama kitty was, so serene as she gently, graceful birthed several small, wet, eyes-sealed-shut, tiny kittens.   

So, why would women be any less expert at birthing their young than a cat?  Mongan goes into this whole explanation of medicalization and cultural programming and whatnot, that she says led to our current perceptions of what birth out to be.  Pretty interesting stuff.  But the best part was just reading about what our bodies do and how brilliantly they're designed.  Talk about inspiring!  After finishing the book, the dread that often creeps in when I think about having another baby (the birth part, not the baby part) seriously subsided and I felt kind of excited at the prospect of giving birth. 

And some good news?  Next week's giveaway is for a bunch of hypnobirthing stuff; books, CDs, DVDs, you'll be all set for an amazing, natural birth!  So, this weekend think about who you know who might be having a baby soon (or maybe you are!) and spread the good word about hypnobirthing!

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Welcome Finnegan Burrows Thompson!

My darling, fuzzy nephew was born right before Sam and I got home from Maine.  And I'm so proud of my sister-in-law; she delivered Finn completely naturally at a birthing center in Holladay, UT.  Her first baby was born in a hospital and besides the beautiful baby at the end, the experience was pretty negative and not something she wanted to repeat.  This time around was hard and a lot of work, but according to her, absolutely amazing.  Finn was born at 6am and then all went home at 9am!  She didn't tear one bit thanks to the experienced, gentle coaching of the midwife.  Finn went straight to the breast and they were able to snuggle and nurse for two hours before they even weighed him or cleaned him or anything.  It is so important for moms and babies to have the chance to just be together and let those good hormones do their work. 

I asked Vanessa a few questions and here are her answers:

What was the biggest difference between your first birth at the hospital and Finn's birth at the birthing center?

I think the biggest difference was the amount of control I felt I had over my birth.  I was not strapped to any IVs or monitors and I was able to walk around the room freely.  My midwife checked Finn with a portable heart monitor about every 30 minutes to make sure everything was going well.  That was enough reassurance for me.  It was a lot easier to work and breathe through contractions and I felt a lot more focused.  I also liked the whole atmosphere of the birthing center.  The rooms were very spacious and each one had a bathroom with a huge tub, if you chose to have a water birth.  I felt as comfortable there as if I were in my own home. I was also the only one there giving birth at the time and I had the mid-wife's and nurse's full attention.  The whole experience was a lot more calm and relaxing compared to the experience I had in the hospital.

Were you nervous at all that something might go wrong that the midwives couldn't handle?

There is always the fear that something might go wrong.  You are really never immune to anything whether you are at the hospital, a birthing center or in your own home.  I did however feel confident that I was just as safe or safer in the midwive's care.  They are very trained, professional and confident in what they do, which made me feel confident in them.  They are so familiar with natural, out-of-hospital child birth, that they use different techniques to work through things that could be a potential problem at the hospital.  I felt that a lot of the problems I experienced in the hospital with my first birth were caused by carelessness and my doctor trying to speed up the process, rather than letting things take their natural course.  I think in normal, low risk pregnancies, there is usually no need to intervene.  Although the hospital serves a wonderful purpose when there truly is a problem, I think it can also cause a lot of unnecessary complications.

What was the best thing about your experience?

I think the best thing about my experience was how much I felt cared for.  My midwife was truly concerned about the well being of me and Finn.  I felt relaxed and confident that she would do all she could to make sure everything went well and that I had a say in what I wanted out of my birthing experience. 
I would have to say that the very best thing was having a natural child birth.  It was a lot tougher than my first birth, but also that much more rewarding.  I had such a feeling of empowerment once I made it through.  I keep reliving in over and over in my mind.  It really is one of the greatest things I have ever done.

Women of Earth, Take Back Your Birth!

The above is a quote from a great documentary I recently watched called Orgasmic Birth, which, by the way, you can get on Netflix.  Slightly scandalous title aside, it was an amazing, empowering movie.  The idea they espoused is that all the same body parts and hormones involved in making love are involved with giving birth, so there is potential for much more pleasure than most women experience.  Makes sense.  What really struck me was the idea that you couldn't very well make love on a surgical table, under bright lights with a bunch of strangers coming in and out, serenaded by the beeps and whirs of machines and monitors, so it makes sense that women have an equivalently less ecstatic birth experience in those very same conditions.  Thompson baby #2 will likely be born at a local birthing center or at home.  Home would be ideal, but our neighbors are awfully close...
Another thing I've been hearing about lately is hypnobirthing.  I really want to look into this in preparation for the next one.  Did anyone read the great story about Finnian's birth on Sew Liberated?  I'd already been interested and then I read her story and figured it was a sign that I definitely need to do it for our next baby's birth!
What I love about both of these approaches is that they empower the mother.  She is the expert when it comes to her body.  So much of the birth culture here is isolating, takes the power away from the mother, operates from a basis of fear rather than trust and is stressful rather than celebratory.  No one knows better than I do the need for competant medical professionals in the case of a high risk birth; Sam was born via scheduled cesarean due to some rearranged organs of his which were spotted via early ultrasound and required almost immediate surgery.  A vaginal birth would likely have ruptured said organs and he may not have made it.  However, there is a time and place for medical intervention and most natural, healthy, low-risk births are not the place for anyone but a woman, a midwife and whomever else she chooses to support her.  

More info about peaceful, empowered births here, here and here.

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