Progressive Pioneer

Child Labor

I'm all for it!  Not the making iPhones and cheap trinkets kind, I'm talking about the not-playing-video games-all-day or thinking-mom's-a-live-in-maid kind.  The kind where kids, even little kids, do actual work.  My parents made my brother and me work (me totally more than my brother, I swear) and Sam (who's three) has chores that he's supposed to do every morning (doesn't always happen, I assure you). I even have little chores for Vivi.  Do you make your kids work?  What sorts of jobs do you give them?  Here are my favorite kid-friendly jobs.

What Grandparents are Good For (and How to Sew Elbow Patches)

My parents flew out for a solid three weeks over the holidays and it was absolutely blissful.  My mom couldn't tear herself away and decided to extend her stay a few weeks more, so she's still here!  The more time my kids spend with their grandparents, the more ridiculous I think it is that we live so far away from both sets!  I noticed some pretty important and wonderful things happening with my kids when my parents were here.  There are just some things that grandparents do better...

On this Autumn Morning

Sam is on a bike ride with a friend, Vivian is napping, and I'm enjoying the stillness, a little remembering and some day dreaming.The taste of summer in Maine is still lingering; it just might carry me through these winter months.  That and some knitting, hot chocolate and a few good novels (any suggestions for a cozy read?). 

A Few Random Things, and I Just Missed You

What a great summer!  And what a simply gorgeous fall.  It's my favorite time of year.  It would be tied with spring, if not for the mud.  And, of course, fall has cozy sweaters, apple cider and dreams of knitting.  What projects are you dreaming of starting in these colder months?

The End of a Season

I've been writing this post for awhile, in my head, at least.  I've known from the beginning of the blog that it would have its season and then come to an end; most things are like that.  I certainly wasn't anticipating being a blogging granny or anything:)  But with my mom in town this spring it just became really clear that the time to move away from the blog is now. Mom's are so great at shedding light on what is true and gently steering you toward it.  It wasn't so much what my mom said, but rather how I remembered what sort of a mother she was (and is!), how much she sacrificed and devoted to my brother and I.   The thing is, I love connecting with so many amazing people, and I love the emails I get from people saying that the blog has made a difference to them.  My favorite was a woman who decided not to go back to work after her second baby because she and her husband were finally in a financial position to do so.  Just that one mom's decision would have made the whole endeavor worth it to me.  But now I have to think about my own babies.  I've tried to blog only at night or during naps, but of course, that means I'm not doing other things (like cleaning!  I always find an excuse not to do that...) and that often, when I'm with them in body, I'm creatively drained from pouring so much into this project. And I want to give the best of myself to them!

It's a funny thing about blogging, often only the pretty, the orderly, the sweet, the inspiring gets posted, and readers may begin to feel that that this blogger has somehow figured it all out; they're a master at time-management, they always seem to discipline their kids with love, dinner is always healthy and on the table with fresh flowers and handmade placemats etc. etc.  Well, let me tell you, in the past year I have eaten fast food, shopped at Walmart, yelled at my kids, slept in sheets that Viv peed on and ignored Mt. Everests of laundry, blogged (not during nap time) instead of spending time with my kids, thrown recyclables in the garbage because I was feeling lazy, gone to bed angry with my husband when I should have apologized, and forgotten to bring my handmade, cloth grocery bags to the store more times than I can remember!  There is sometimes a dark underbelly to blogging where the pretty posts come at the expense of real life lived.  I think that perhaps some people just manage it better than I do.  But, the truth is, I need all the energy, love, and creativity I can muster to be the very best mom and wife I can be to my beautiful children and husband.  You know that I believe there is no job in the world more important, more rewarding, more difficult, or more crucial to the health of our world and the happiness of individuals than that of mothering.  I actually have a lot to share on the subject and for a long time have wanted to write a book.  That's another reason you won't find me in this space anymore.  At night, when the kids have gone to bed and Clay and I are curled up on the couch reading, I'll be researching the topic of motherhood with notebook and pencil in hand.  The book is already begun and I plan on letting it take as long as it needs to, no computer (until the very last draft), no taking myself away from the kids (that would rather be missing the point, wouldn't it?) just working on it quietly in the evenings more as a personal exercise than anything.  I hope that at some point I have something to share, because there's no subject I feel more strongly about.  If so, I will definitely announce it here.  If not, I hope I will be all the better for having spent so many evenings pondering the signifigance of motherhood.

I plan to leave the blog up, all the archives will still be available.  And I'll still be around; I'm a social creature and I would miss you all too much to just drop off the face of the earth!  I hope you'll keep in touch.  Friend me on facebook or become a fan of the blog's page (new posts automatically post to my personal wall and anything else blog related I'll post on the Progressive Pioneer wall).  If you're a twitterer (I'm not really, but I have an account and new posts automatically post there as well) you can find me @ProPioneer, and if you have a feed reader, make sure you're subscribed.  That should about cover it:)  I'll post important things like new babies, moves to the country (and a call for neighbors!), books published(!) and anything else I just can't keep to myself:)

Thanks so much for reading these past few years.  I've learned so much and made some wonderful friends; what a great adventure it's been!  Thank you SO MUCH for your support, advice and for the stories and thoughts you've shared.  Please keep in touch!

Mom's Visit

Have I mentioned that my mom's in town?  I'm in Heaven!  Seriously, two moms and two kids is just about right for me:)  With the both of us reading books, prepping dinner, taking zoo trips etc. this mothering thing just seems like a breeze!
We were so excited about her visit and I spent the week or two prior getting all ready, fluffing pillows, arranging things just so, picking up last minute groceries...  We have a guest room downstairs, but I wanted it to feel extra homey.  I made the bed with the quilt I made before Vivi was born.  Sam and Clay picked out some pretty, potted flowers to set on the window sill.Sam got to use my special water color paints (I actually love it when he uses them; the colors are so vibrant and beautiful!) and painted Grammy some pictures to decorate the walls.

And I handpicked a selection of books from my collection that I thought she might particularly like.  I also stocked up on movies at the library, lots of British, Jane Austen-y flicks and old movies.  I almost picked up Pollyanna because the family joke is that my dad never wants to let my mom pick movies with the reasoning being, "Oh, you'll just pick something like Pollyanna..." 
What do you do to make your house feel like home for guests?

PS Speaking of moms; if they do a sequel I have plenty of material, because I tell my mom EVERYTHING!  How about you?  Would you be able to fill a book easier with stories you've only told your mom or stories you've never told your mom?

How to Be A Mom

I've been thinking, recently, about motherhood.  There was the recent holiday, and the book, of course, and I'm also working on a little project with my mom that I'm excited to show you soon.  All of these things have got me thinking about this amazing, exhausting, exhilirating profession of Motherhood. 

One of the things that struck when reading all the essays in the book, were just how varied the experiences of mothering or being mothered were, and yet how poignant each one was.  There is a depth and power to each and every story, whether a glowing tribute to a mother or a complicated dance of misunderstanding and trying again.  That was really the common thread, that motherhood is messy, complicated, hard to define and yet we know it when we see it because something there resonates with us, on a gut level.  It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with blood and birth, though that is often a part of it.  It doesn't necessarily have to do with titles or marriages, though those things certainly factor in.  My essay talks about the connection I feel to a mother who hasn't been a part of my life since I was seven, and who yet is inextricably interwined in who I am.  It also touches on my relationship with someone who is in most ways even more of a mother to me, my step-mother.  Crazy, complicated, beautiful stuff this mothering...

I won't go into too much detail about this project I'm working on with my mom (step-mom, for clarification); I don't want to ruin the surprise!  But, can I ask you a question?  Or a few?  What do you think are some of the most important things for mothers to know?  I mean, if you had to sum up a few crucial ideas for a mother-to-be, what would they be?  Tips on juggling it all?  Reassurance that she can do this?  Encouragement to trust her intuition?  Advice on keeping teenagers close while giving them their independence?  How to keep your kids safe in this crazy, scary world?  Or just to relax, it's not that crazy and scary?  What do moms really need to know about how to be a mother?

PS Here's a little excerpt from my essay.  You can get the entire book for $4.99 and enjoy the whole range of essays.  I promise; it's totally worth it!

Breast cancer has its virtues, though few. It doesn’t steal in and snatch away loved ones in the dead of the night. The process is slow; there is time to prepare. My mom, Tinnel, told my step-mother that she thought God had hand-picked her to raise me. And she was right. I can’t count the number of times I have thanked Him for the gift of a loving (step) mother. I’ve told my step-mother everything, even about the time I brushed the dog’s teeth with her toothbrush during a fit of teenage rage. But my biological mother, there are a lot of things I wish I could tell her.

When it became clear that the end of my mom’s life on Earth was near she began to write me a book. It ends abruptly and is composed of mostly blank white pages, an apt metaphor for her unfinished life. She was only 37 when she died. But within the first few pages of her graceful handwriting and watercolor illustrations are as much wisdom and love as she could conjure up in those last few moments.

Of breastfeeding, my mother wrote, “I loved to nurse you. It created the bond we share to this day (the day you’re reading this), and I was sad to give it up even after 2 years.” I would tell her that she was right, that I can feel her in my body and my being, that I am made of her, as my own daughter is built of my very essence, cell by cell. No distance or death can change that initial construction. I have the feeling that those early years when she poured herself into me both literally and emotionally, gave me strength for difficulties ahead.

images from Stock Exchange

Full to Bursting

This past weekend we...

Ate the traditional birthday cake and drank "fuzzy juice," (as Sam calls it),
Enjoyed an easy, comfortable family celebration and broke open pinatas, 
Opened a few presents, put them together,

And generally enjoyed celebrating and marvelling at our boy's three long and short years around the sun.  How can he be three already?  And how does he manage to be so wise, funny, cheerful, loving and all around fantastic for only being three years old?  The four of us snuggled in Sam's bed tonight, (re)reading a new favorite book from Grammie and just feeling full to bursting with the sweet joy that comes from loving your kids to bits.

Hard Conversations

I'm constantly amazed at the perspective I gain by seeing the world through my children's eyes.  Today we went to the Home Depot to get a bunch of tiny cacti for party favors.  As we were leaving the parking lot, we had to pause while waiting for traffic.  There was a homeless man with his cardboard sign, there on the corner.  I felt slightly inconvenienced because I felt awkward not acknowleding him beyond one somewhat warm, though not overly inviting smile.  I try to always smile at homeless people and look them in the eyes, rather than pretend I don't see them.  But, I also don't want to invite them in too close.  It's one of those things that leaves me feeling uneasy, my desire to help tempered by my desire to keep my family safe (Elizabeth Smart, anyone?), a belief in the importance of treating everyone with dignity, complicated by my desire to not be inconvenienced physically or emotionally.  And so, it's with those conflicting emotions and motivations that I dole out my semi-friendly smile, but that's it.  On this day though, traffic was particularly heavy and so we stayed mere feet from this particular man for quite a few minutes.  Without really thinking about it one way or the other I suggested to Sam that he wave to the man, that it would make him happy.  So he did, and it did.  But it also opened up a whole new topic of conversation and corner of the world for Sam. "Who is that man, mom?" he asked me.  I explained about homelessness.  He wanted to know why he didn't have a home.  I explained that there are a few reasons, and that it was also likely that the man used things that made his body feel good momentarily, but were very bad for his body in the long run.  I try to give him real answers, but in terms he can understand and with a level of reality appropriate for his tender age and heart.  Sam was very interested in this notion of not having a home, and very concerned about how this man might find a home.  We talked about homeless shelters and soup kitchens.  He wanted to know if we could bring him home to our house.  I couldn't figure out a way to explain why we couldn't.  I told him that perhaps we could volunteer at the shelter or soup kitchen and we could help him in that way.  Though it squeezed my heart to see his sweet heart so wide open and full of love and being so newly exposed to one of the harsh and sad realities of life on earth, I still felt that the conversation had gone well and that I had answered him in the best way possible, or at least pretty close to it, if there is a best way. Tonight when I went in to kiss Sam goodnight he asked me again about the homeless man.  Bedtime is often the time when concerns or just things that have been on his mind come to the surface, and it's a time for us to lay quietly and process them together.  We spent about half an hour talking about this man.  Sam did most of the talking and I just listened, ocassionally offering explanations or suggestions.  By the end of the conversation I had tears in my eyes at the tenderness of Sam's heart and his capacity for compassion.  He was worried that the man would be outside in the rain tonight and would have to sleep in the dark.  I told him that I hoped he had gone to a shelter tonight.  "Does he have a mother at the homeless shelter?" he asked, "He needs a mother to help him find a new home."  He wanted to know how he would get to the shelter, he thought a train might be a good way.  He worried that he had lost his coat, because he hadn't been wearing a coat when we saw him.  "I want Heavenly Father to show him how to get there," he said.  "You could ask him that," I suggested.  And so he rolled over onto his knees and said, "Dear Heavenly Father, please help the homeless man to find the shelter.  He doesn't have a house and I don't want him to die.  Please do that.  In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."  It was the most serious and sincere prayer I've heard him say.  I don't even know where he got the idea that the man might die.  From there he asked me how the man would walk if he died and how he would get back to Heaven.  My goodness, such a heavy conversation for a toddler, and for this mama.  But, so good to talk about, I think.  I don't really know if I handled it right, or if there is a right way.  I mean, really, what is the answer?  Homelessness, and the myriad other painful, difficult things about the paths we tread, don't have easy answers, they simply are sometimes hard and sad.  I think I often shut myself off from them, with the half-friendly smile and then the avoidance, because I just can't immerse myself in the sorrow of all the sadness there is.  I can't bleed for each homeless person I encounter; at times I feel too much and just get overwhelmed at all the heartache that exists and the fact that I can't fix it.  But, on the other hand, there are babies being born, hundreds, if not thousands of them, in the time it's taken me to write this.  Insurmountable joy is coursing through new mothers' bodies, lovers are uniting, friends are lifting each other up, fathers are beaming with pride as they watch their sons become men, and families are spending simple, sweet moments together in the happiness that comes from that familial combination of love and sacrifice.  It's a crazy, complicated, rich, and wonderful world we live in.  I'm so grateful for the  wise, little souls that are sharing my journey. photos from stockexchange.com

Post Holiday Vegitating

It's been rather quiet around here.  We spent a wonderful week at the cabin, away from everything, but family and good food.  We bundled the kids to within an inch of their lives (we've got this great baby sleeping bag thing that we put Viv in and Sam was layer upon layer on felted wool and Gortex).  Then we all piled onto the snow machines and loaded our gear into sleds and headed up to the cabin.  The road to the cabin isn't plowed, so the last mile of the trip is either made by snowmobile or ski.  I often think of pioneers and remember the descriptions in Little House on the Prairie of them bundling up in the sleigh.  Although I love the novelty of having to carry everything in for that last mile, I'm certainly grateful for the warm car that drove us the other five hours of the trip!

The last couple weeks I've been thinking about time, energy, emotion, creativity, and how best to allocate those precious resources.  My feeling is that I'm in a season where I want to devote a bit more of those things to my family and home, so you'll likely find me in this space a bit less often.  Though I'll certainly be dropping in now and again.

I love the slow post-holiday pace of life.  After the whirlwind of the Christmas season (no matter how simple we aim for, there's just no getting around the fact that there are so many loved ones to see, songs to sing, surprises to make and cookies to eat, yes?), it feels so good to simply hang around the house and just be.  Be silly with my little ones, be creative in the kitchen (or maybe just stick to my old standbys!), be indulgent in a bubble bath with a good book...

Sam made Vivian a makeshift entertainment center by tying some of his toys to the underside of the table.  And a mirror that I've been meaning to donate, but has been languishing by the front door, has turned into an impromtu easle.  It's a good thing we didn't spend a lot on toys this year:)

Hope you're enjoying the slower pace of these short and cozy winter days too.

Cozy

Last night felt like a Maine sort of evening.  Sam and I made a fire.  Thank goodness Clay keeps up a steady supply of wood scraps; we missed the deadline for cutting your own firewood this year. 

We curled up in the big, cushy chair with a stack of books and a plate of cookies.  I let him eat cookies for dinner(!), can you believe it?  But some days are just like that.  He's such a great kid, sometimes he just deserves cookies for dinner and books by the fire (and so do I).

Hope you're finding time for cozying, books and cookies during this sometimes crazy time of year too (I won't even tell if you eat them for dinner!).

Sunbeam

Mama Son Date

Sam and I went on our first Mama son date, and our first outing just the two of us since Vivian was born.  We have a children's theatre here in Salt Lake that does performances geared towards younger kids.  Right now they're performing an adaptation of the book Ferdinand the Bull, which happens to be one of my childhood favorites. 

So Sam and I got dressed up and combed our hair and headed out for an afternoon on the town.  It was such a treat to do something just with Sam.  And I loved being able to take him to a show that appealed to him as well as to me.  He, of course, was riveted.  It was his first live show and I could tell it just knocked his socks off.  The theater is only a few rows deep and the floor in the middle is the stage, so everyone is right there with the action.  We sat on the front row and at times we could've reached out and touched the actors.

I really enjoyed the stylish, minimalist way they did the scenery.  It very much called to mind the illustrations in the book.  The floor was painted green with a pattern of stylized flowers stamped across it.  I was also really impressed with how well the actors portrayed animals.  The woman who played Ferdinand's mom was especially good; I found myself marveling at how well she channeled a mama cow vibe.  The whole show was very professional, very artfully done.  I found myself being so appreciate that people put such effort into art that's geared toward children.  Of course children should be exposed to the real thing, not just silly, saccharine children's entertainment, but this is not always so easy to find.  We're so lucky to have it right here, practically in our backyard.  And it's only a hair more expensive than going to the movies; totally do-able.

Something wonderful about the Children's Theatre is that the audience is so much more involved.  No one thinks twice when a little voice calls out "Oh no!  A bumble bee!" as Ferdinand is about to plant his rear end square on one.  And rather than a frown, Sam got a friendly wink from an actress waiting near us for her cue, when he loudly whispered "Mom, look at that girl!"  During intermission children took to the stage and ran around wildly chasing their shadows and dancing in the lights.  There was such a wonderful feeling of exhuberant creativity.

The Children's Theatre has a really exciting lineup through winter and fall; Sherlock Holmes, The Emperor's New Clothes, Cats...  I can't wait for our next date!

Vivian's Blessing Gown

Before Vivian was even born I had plans to make her a special dress for the day she received her baby blessing at church.  I got a pattern and laboriously cut out all the little pieces.  I normally sew the same way I cook; I take a little inspiration from a pattern or recipe, but mostly make it up as I go along.  But with this dress I wanted it to be just right so I was determined to be very careful and deliberate about each step along the way.  However, when it came to the actual sewing I only got about two steps into the directions when it became very clear that something was wrong- the bodice looked closer to my size than a newborn's.  Okay, truth be told I did do a little bit of winging it; I skipped the whole interfacing bit.  Turns out that was sort of important...

So, rather than tear all my hair out trying to follow the cryptic instructions and piece together the million bitty pieces, I just made up my own pattern (there was a wee bit of hair pulling as I tried to tape back together one of the pattern pieces that Sam decided to modify with some scissors, but it all worked out in the end).  It felt good to be doing it my way; it went faster and was a much more pleasant experience, even if it wasn't "perfect."  About a year ago I was all geared up to take a sewing class and then it just didn't happen.  Maybe this fall or winter I finally will.  

You can't really tell from the outside, but the inside is a dead giveaway that someone who really has no idea what they're doing made it.  But I just figure those are the marks of love.  Hopefully Vivian will look at it some day and realize that my desire to make something special for her was greater than my skill, but I just went for it anyway.

There is something so sweet and pure about a little girl.  I loved seeing her in this pretty, sweet and simple dress.  I didn't want anything too frilly or over-the-top, but rather something that let her own sweetness shine through.

In my characteristic, labor-saving way, I used some vintage linens that were already trimmed with that crocheted edge.  Then I just incorporated it into the pattern and cut the pieces accordingly.  Much easier than sewing the trim on myself, or heavens, crocheting it myself!

The lace on the bonnet and neckline was purchased, but I thought it fit in well enough with the rest.

The blessing is a really neat time because generally the baby's father gives it.  He holds the baby while standing in a circle of brothers, fathers, uncles, friends etc.  There's something special about the baby blessing being a gift that the father can give when so much of a newborn's life is focused on the mother and vice versa.  It's also wonderful to see the combination of strength and tenderness that is a circle of men blessing a tiny baby.  Vivian was a peach and fell asleep just before it was time to bless her and stayed angelically (and reverently) asleep throughout the affair.  I'll write about it in her baby book for her to read when she's a little older.

Family Journal Night

Erin writes about the intersection of frugality and green living at The Green Phone Booth and The Sustainable Triangle.  She lives in Raleigh, NC with her four favorite fellows (her husband and three sons). I love this post for multiple reasons; I have stacks and stacks of journals chronically every stage of my life and have found them such a valuable resource both in sorting through issues as I encounter them and in reflecting later on, I love family traditions and this sounds like such a fun and valuable one, I also love all the inherent benefits like increased literacy, family time and sharing thoughts and feelings together, learning to stick with something etc. etc.  This reminds me that I need to bust out my journal and start recording some of the important things that have been happening around here lately!

************************************************************************

"Journal time!" I call to my husband and three kids.

My husband gathers up paper and pens while I gather the the boys around the table.

"What day is it?" one kid asks. "What did I do this week?" says another.

And then the quiet of concentration settles upon us as we each record the events of the week - some in drawings, some in words, some with more words than others. When everyone is done, I'll gather up the papers and store them away in a three ring binder, our family journal that the boys can flip through at will to relive the events of the past year.

This is our Sunday night ritual, a tradition my own parents started when I was little and that I revived with my family nearly a year ago. My parents did it a little differently, providing each of us with our own hardcover journal to write or draw in each week, and to this day, I love to look back at the silly drawings and simple stories from my childhood. And although my parents abandoned the journal ritual after just a few years, I had developed a personal journaling habit that I kept up into adulthood.

Why Start a Family Journal Night?

To keep a record

The year I met my husband, I wrote my journal on the computer and saved the files on a floppy disk (remember those?). Right after my husband proposed, the disk malfunctioned, and I lost the entire record of our courtship. So many times since then, I've wondered: What did I think of my husband when we first met? What did I think after our first kiss? How did I know I was in love? Even simple details like where we went on our second date have disappeared from my memory after nearly ten years.

This is not to say that you shouldn't save your journal digitally (but make sure you keep a backup copy!) Instead my point is that we forget so much so quickly when we don't write it down. And these years while my children are young - I wish I could capture every moment! I want to remember all of the cute things they said and the fun things we did, but I also want to remember what they found important and how they felt.

"What did you do this week that you want to remember?" my husband and I ask our boys every week. And how fun to see their answers!

To practice writing

In just a year, I've seen my oldest's writing develop from four or five word sentences to four or five sentence paragraphs. "What else could you write?" my husband and I ask him after each sentence. "Is there anything more you could say? What details can you add?"

My five-year-old has gone from dictating to me or his father, to asking us to spell out each and every word, to writing simple sentences on his own.

Even for me as an adult, I find value in attempting to record my thoughts in a cohesive way and to capture my voice on paper. Writing is such an important skill to acquire, and one we can continue to develop throughout our lives.

To value art and creativity

In my own childhood journal, the drawings, not the journal-writing, are definitely the real gems. I remember as teenagers my siblings and I would occasionally pull out our journals and compare scribbles and stick figures (with ridiculous labels like "Grandma doing a somersault"). My own boys labor meticulously over their drawings, and I love to see their creativity in action. And then at the end of each evening, the journal pages go into our three-ring binder, to be oohed and aahed over for years to come.

To be together

"What's that?" my oldest asks his two-year-old brother, pointing to a scribble on the page.

"Daddy's backpack," the two-year-old replies.

"What's that?" my oldest points to another scribble.

"Daddy's backpack."

"What's that?"

"Race car."

The five- and six-year-old dissolve into laughter, and I can't keep the smile off my face. These are moments that are priceless to me, moments that I want to preserve as long as I possibly can.

A Quilt for Vivi, Kind of...

Well, thank goodness Abbey sent me that beautiful baby quilt because as happy as I am with this one, it certainly wouldn't pass for a baby quilt!  I was feeling bad that I hadn't made Vivi her own quilt so I said to myself, "Well, this quilt will be in honor of Vivian and I'll make it extra girly."  But, in the end, it was still a big grownup quilt with pretty flowers on it.  And that's okay too.  I'm sure she'll enjoy plenty of afternoons in the sun and picnics and tea parties on it some day.

 

I wanted something light colored and lightweight for summer, but still rugged enough to haul up the canyon for picnics.  The solutions was large patches (+12" square) of pretty vintage sheets, tied onto an old cotton blanket with no batting.  It's just the right thickness and I don't have to worry about the pretty fabric on top getting yucky because the back is a heavy woven, tan material, perfect for putting down on dew damp grass, sandy beaches or the backyard.

We took it out for a test drive for Clay's Father's Day picnic and mini-hike and it made the whole affair seem much more festive to be eating on such a pretty "table."  I'm envisioning plenty more backyard picnics.

Planet Jr., The Weeding Miracle

My parents got this new gardening tool and they're so excited about it.  Honestly, they can't stop talking about it.  Of course, I know all about how that goes; I totally geek out about handy gadgets, seeds, new knitting needles, you name it.  Now it's clear where I get that!

 

My dad emailed me these pictures and the following praise for the Planet Jr. Wheel Hoe.  "Our garden is about 3000 sq. ft., and I got out this morning around 6:45 and weeded the whole thing in about 1/2 hour with the Planet Junior.  It was invented back around 1870 or so.  I saw an old one in action when I went down to help a neighbor with his garden a week or two ago.  Our rototiller had broken down, and as soon as I saw this old thing, I wanted one.  Best thing since night baseball!"

So there you have it, the official endorsement from Mom and Pop!

8 Tips for Stress-Free Camping

The editor of Simple Mom has a new addition to her family, so a bunch of the Simple Media contributors (Simple Organic, Simple Homeschool, Simple Bites etc.) have pitched in to do some guest posts and give her a little break.  That's who I stole the idea from:)  Today I have a post up about making family camping more manageable, so you'll want to do it more often.  Check it out and start planning some trips!

While the Boys Were Camping...

Clay took Sam for his first ever father-son camp out this past weekend, which just warmed my heart.  Apparently Sam camps like a champ and loved every minute of it.  He was so excited to tell me how he slept in a sleeping bag, and sat on a log by the fire, and every little detail of the trip, all of which were equally exciting and new for him. Just as lovely for me was the fact that their father-son bonding trip gave me an entire evening and morning to myself.  I had really forgotten what that was like.  Clay is great about taking care of Sam and giving me breaks while he's here, but there's just something different about an entirely silent house.  I felt like I was single again, that luxury of living a life that revolves completely around yourself.  I wish I knew what a luxury that was back then so I could have reveled in it a bit more. 

This weekend I read without worrying about being interrupted or thinking I should only read a few more pages before getting someone to bed or making a snack.  I spent at least fifteen minutes making a cup of fancy cocoa (and documenting it in photos).  Then I nursed that mug for a good 45 minutes while snuggled down with a stack of books to leaf through.  In the morning I spread out a quilt I was working on, right in the middle of the living room floor, without worrying about little feet traipsing all over it, or bothering to keep the pins out of reach.  I didn't even realize little things that were such a treat:)

I really think that carving out special, mama alone time, is so crucially important to being a happy, well-balanced mom.  Not that you have to send your husband and kids to the woods on a regular basis (though it's not a tradition I would discourage!), but finding ways to just breathe, to just think about your own needs for an hour or two, is so centering.  I think we can gain a lot of happiness and joy from serving and taking care of other people.  I'm not into that whole "you have to meet all your own needs before taking care of someone else" idea.  I think that's a recipe for frustration and dissatisfaction on all sides.  My life, which revolves around feeding, clothing, bathing and cleaning other people, is really immensely satisfying for me and makes me very happy.  But, by trying to recognize that I do occasionally need a little time-out and honoring that, I can try and make sure that I don't burn out.  

Here area few ideas I have for carving out a little mom-time:

• Get up earlier or later than your kids, and don't do the laundry or anything else like that, just enjoy a cup of tea, a good book, a long bath or whatever makes you feel like you.
• Arrange a regular swap with another mom and use the time to relax; catch a matinee, take a nap, give yourself a pedicure.  Then pick up your kids, refreshed and excited to see them.
• If you're feeling overwhelmed or turning into grouchy mom, just take a little time-out: stop doing the dishes, forgo the plans to weed the garden, forget the elaborate dinner; you can have fried eggs and toast.  And just go outside, or sit and read books with your kids.  If you can't have time to yourself, at least enjoy some time with your kids that makes you feel relaxed and happy.  Forget all the "should-dos" and just enjoy the fun and sweet parts of being a mom.

How do you guys stay centered? 

Family Pictures

Awhile ago we had our good friend Steve take some family pictures.  We wanted something a little funky, so we dressed up, got out some musical instruments and even incorporated Clay's old motorbike into a few.  It's fun having a friend do the photos because you don't feel (too) silly doing offbeat stuff.  Steve and his wife (who acted as his assistant) were so fun and easy to work with.  They played music and made us feel nice and relaxed.  I, in particular, tense up in front of a camera and do this goofy smile.  But, he just kept clicking away until I finally relaxed and he was able to get a few good ones.  He took the photo I use for my profile picture on the about page and various other places. 

Unfortunately Sam was feeling a bit under the weather and declined to smile during the whole shoot.  He just wanted to be held and make his cute, sad face.  I still love the pictures of him though.  In fact, we have so many pictures of Sam beaming (they're easy to get) that I kind of like having a few serious ones.  I have plans to blow a few up really huge and frame them for the walls. Steve also does really amazing outdoor adventure-type photography, as well as family portraits and some commercial stuff (he also helped us with an ad for Ivory Bill).  So, if you're local, or local-ish (it'd be worth the drive), look him up!

Who Else is Stoked About this Movie?!

Is anyone else really excited about the Babies movie opening this weekend?  I may be geeking out a bit because I was an anthropology major in college and happen to be six months pregnant at the moment.  But I can't think of a movie I'd want to see more than this one!

This is what I loved about anthropology; life on the micro-level, learning how people live their day-to-day to lives, how they cook, their relationships etc.  How we raise babies is such an integral part of who we are as individuals and who we are as a larger society.  My sister-in-laws and I are having a little girls' afternoon out tomorrow to catch the movie.  I think I'll make kettle corn...

PS I had a professor in college that lived with the Himba (the African people in the movie) and wrote a wonderful book about it.  It's enjoyable even if you're not a anthro geek like me:)  

PPS Sam LOVES watching the trailer on my computer.  He asks to watch "the baby movie" all the time. I might have to get the DVD when it comes out...

Seeing the Everyday, Gardening Story

I've mentioned Seeing the Everyday before; it's an advertisement free collection of stories celebrating the importance of families.  Chock full of beautiful, soothing, nostalgic images, it's like a vacation for the eyes.  I love seeing it in my mailbox and carving out some time to sit down with a cup of tea and leaf through the pages.  One of the neat things about the magazine is that all the stories come from regular people, so the voices are authentic and simple.  I sent an essay that I wrote in grad school to them awhile ago and some excerpts from it ran in the recent spring issue.

 

They don't pay contributors, but you do get the thrill of seeing your words in print, accompanied by lovely photography.  You also get a thoughtful, hand-written thank you note from the editor on their classy, letterpress stationary, which is kind of fun too.  If you have a story to share, send it in!  It's a wonderful thing to contribute to.  I think a quiet place dedicated to celebrating the simple and important things in life is so needed right now. 

PS I put the full essay in the comments if you'd like to read it:)

Toddler Thank You Cards

I saw this idea somewhere, though now I can't remember where, but someone deserves credit for the idea of turning your toddler's artwork into thank you cards.  I trimmed off the bottoms of his paintings (that's really the only part with paint anyway, as he can't reach much higher on the easel!) and we wrote thank you letters for his birthday presents. 
It was a lot of fun to involve him in the process.  He decorated the backs of the envelopes and I asked him questions and wrote his answers in the letters.  Most of the letters followed the same format.  I wrote a thank you and told what Sam liked about the present, as if it were coming straight from him.  Then I added "I also want to tell you..." and put the direct quotes there.  Sometimes they were about the present or the person we were writing to, sometimes they were more along the lines of "I found a bug!" or "I like cupcakes!"  But I like that he's learning about writing letters and I'm sure people will enjoy hearing what he wanted to share with them, no matter what it is. Today we'll take a field trip to the post office and pick up some stamps, which I'll probably let Sam put on and drop in the mail slot.  It will likely be a highlight of his day:)

Sugar-Free Party Food

Every since I used m&ms to encourage Sam to use the potty, we've been trying to avoid sugar altogether.  I got the "good" kind (cane sugar, food-based coloring etc.), but they were still a steady dose of sweet throughout the whole day and it made him kind of crazy.  He's so much happier and more pleasant to be around when his blood sugar isn't going like a roller coaster.  So, for his birthday party, I thought it would be decidedly more festive to have him in a happy mood at the end of it, and not coming off a sugar high, crashed and cranky. Because the party was at 2:00 in the afternoon, we really only needed to provide snacks.  So the menu included carrot cupcakes, chocolate chip cookies, juice and strawberries with a creamy dip (left over frosting actually).  The dip was a last-minute stroke of genius; the strawberries were originally entended to be plain.  I was also planning on doing popcorn with butter, olive oil, salt and a little nutritional yeast, but I just ran out of time. 
Here's how I kept the sugar to a minimum.  The cookies and cupcakes are the tricky part, but both were made with 100% whole wheat flour and only honey and molasses to sweeten them.  I don't think anyone even knew the difference.  The frosting was even honey-sweetened.  We try and limit even honey and natural sweeteners for ourselves and for Sam, but for a festive occasion it was fun to feel like we were having treats without the negative effects of highly processed white sugar and flour.  We're mostly water or fresh juice drinkers, so to get bottled juice was a "treat" as well, and definitely more healthy than soda or some of the other alternatives.

Here's the cupcake recipe (another treasure from Clay's mom!):

• 2 cups whole wheat flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 tsp cinnamon
• 3/4 cup oil
• 3/4 cup honey
• 4 eggs
• 2 cups grated carrot
• 1 cup unsweetened, crushed pineapple, drained
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts (I used pecans)

Mix the dry together, and the wet together, then combine them.  Bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes (less for cupcakes) or until a skewer comes out clean.  For the frosting you can combine cream cheese, butter, vanilla and honey and it's delicious.  You can also skip the butter, I was just feeling indulgent. 

Recovering from Some Crazy Toddler Partying

We're still recovering from a weekend of second birthday festivities.  We'll be with you later today or tomorrow morning to report all the goodness of the weekend.  Who knew toddler parties could be so fun?  Sam's first birthday party was really for me, let's be honest, but this one was definitely all for Sam and it was so fun because this year he could actually tell us how much he loved it!  I've got some fun recipes for sugarless party food (still festive, but minus the sugar crash!), some great homemade present ideas to share and of course, a new picture of Sam in the birthday hat (the above is from last year) looking a year older and wiser.