Progressive Pioneer

Birth Story Movie

I was so excited to hear about this movie and all the wonderful reviews it got.  Ina May's books were so inspiring to me during my pregnancies.  But I was sad that I missed the one and only showing in Utah (back in November).  Did anyone else see it?  The good news is that you'll be able to download it to watch on April 30th!  I'm thinking I might have to gather up some girlfriends and popcorn for a little movie night:)

Birth Stories: Amy and Vivian's Story

Trying to imagine and anticipate birthing is like trying to imagine what the Grand Canyon looks like.  People can try to describe it.  "It's breathtaking, amazing.  The biggest hole in the ground you've ever seen!"  But, until you experience it, there's just no way to fully understand it.  All the reading, visualizing and preparation I did still didn't prepare me for the immensity of what we undertook that Saturday and Sunday.  Clayton was equally awed.

Saturday morning at 8:30 I went to our midwife Rebecca's to take some Blue and Black Cohosh and have her sweep my membranes.  The way she explains what the cohosh does is that it's like having an engine that won't turn over.  And the cohosh is like pumping the gas and turning the ignition- external actions that hopefully get the car to take over on its own.  I had "cohosh contractions" by mid-morning that were manageable, though close.  I listened to Hypnobabies and breathed and rocked through them every 2-3 minutes.  By early afternoon Rebecca came to check on me and decided to give me another dose and do another sweep.  She just wanted to make sure that my body took over and settled into a good pattern and that we didn't lose momentum.  After that things got much stronger and were still very close together.  By about 4pm I was having to vocalize through them.  Throughout all of this Clay was by my side giving me sips of coconut water, rubbing my back, and telling me a constant stream of positive, encouraging things.  Around 8pm Clayton called Rebecca, who could hear me in the background.  She decided to come over.  We already had the pool blown up and the basement all set up with everything we needed.  When Rebecca got there I was working through contractions on my hands and knees, on the birthing ball or leaning over the edge of the bed.  I couldn't stay still during them.  They were so close together, just a minute or two apart, and I would flop down limply to rest between them, but be positively compelled to rise and sway or kneel or something each time another one came on.  Rebecca convinced me to go outside for a little walk in the yard at some point just to give my mind a change of pace, I think.  If the neighbors didn't already think we were a little weird at this point, I'm sure they do now!  I had absolutely no shame and went right on with my moaning, humming and growling, leaning over the hood of the car during each contraction.

 

Finally when I was at 5cm Rebecca said I could get in the pool.  That was the last time she checked me.  She was very hands off, but encouraging.  Occasionally she would submerge her little monitor, placing it on my belly to listen to Vivian.  She squeezed pressure points in my hands and told me encouraging things ("One at a time, you only have to get through this one right now...  You can do anything for 60 seconds...").  Throughout all of this I was very much inside of myself.  I hardly opened my eyes, even between contractions.  I think I even took little power naps between them, which is hard to imagine.  I was definitely some place else, though.  I used Hypnobabies earlier on, but kind of lost it as I went to that other place, though really that may have been a benefit of all that deep relaxation that I practiced beforehand.  Clay put on some of the tracks while I was birthing and said later that he really noticed a difference in my body language while they were on. 

Even though I was very much in this primal place, there was a part of my brain that was watching myself and was utterly amazed.  I couldn't believe what a wild animal I was!  I didn't realize I would be so vocal, but boy was I ever!  And my body just took over in this amazing, hugely powerful way.  I never, ever pushed once.  My body was doing what it needed the whole time and I just tried to help it do what it needed to do as efficiently as possible.  When my body started pushing Vivian out, Rebecca tried to get me to slow down so I wouldn't tear, but it was like holding back wild horses!  I tried valiantly, but my body won out over my mind and Viv came flying out like a superhero!  Her head was only about halfway out and on that next push the rest of her head and whole body (with her hand up next to her head!) danced out into the water.  Clay said it was so neat to see her in the water, so graceful, moments before I picked her up. 

Her eyes were wide open and she cried right away.  Interestingly, she was covered in vernix and had quite a few other things that convinced Rebecca that she was much closer to 40 than 42 weeks.  So, somehow, despite our best laid plans, we miscalculated!  Rebecca said cohosh won't bring out a baby that isn't ready, and I feel quite sure that she was ready.  But it's so crazy that we attach these numbers and deadlines to pregnancy, when our bodies know exactly what they're doing.  No wonder she didn't come on her due date, if we were two weeks off. 

 

We waited for the cord to stop pulsing.  Rebecca clamped it and Clay cut it.  The placenta came out easily and was nice and healthy.  The only less-than-perfect things were some tears that needed stitches and a lot of lost blood.  But Rebecca gave me some pitocin and then another drug (it starts with M...?) and it eventually slowed, though I wasn't able to take more than a few steps in the following days without risking passing out.  But I feel a lot better now.  I think Rebecca was worried that I would be unhappy that I hadn't achieved my "perfect" birth, but I'm 100% thrilled!  In a way I'm grateful for the "less-than-perfect" aspects because I think most women, simply because of the model of care we implement here, end up with complications that make recovery longer.  I feel like I'm much more empathetic than if I had been able to be up and around immediately after the birth.  And I'm so excited for the next pregnant momma I know to give birth so I can be at her house doing laundry and making soup and whatnot.  My mother-in-law and sister-in-law have been her this whole week taking care of every little detail and have made this time absolute bliss.  I am so grateful for loving, generous service.  So many people have extended offers of help, congratulations and warmth. 

Vivian weighed 7lbs 6oz.  When Rebecca came back for a postpartum visit a few days later, she had only lost 2 oz and my milk was already in.  Clay thinks she's going to be a fat baby:)  He's the proudest papa ever (I love this picture below, only minutes after Viv was born) and has said that he can already feel himself turning to moosh over his little girl.  I think she'll have him wrapped right around her finger.  It was a really wonderful experience for Clay and I to go through this birthing together.  It's as much his triumph as mine as I couldn't have done it without him.  He was just perfect throughout the whole thing.  And having experienced that together, there's a new layer to our relationship, a new closeness and reverence for each other that we couldn't have achieved in a different way.

It was challenging, powerful, uncomfortable, eye-opening and life changing.  And yes, I would definitely do it again.

Birth Stories: Katrina's Breech Delivery at Home

This is the last of the birth stories I'll be sharing in this series, except, of course, for little Vivian's story.  This story belongs to a friend of mine who was also in my Hypnobabies class.  Her little girl stayed stubbornly in breech position right up to and through delivery, and Katrina remained so calm and confident throughout the whole thing.  She continued with her plan of a natural water birth at home, only changing plans slightly to include another midwife who was an expert in breech deliveries.  Here is her inspiring story and beautiful photos.

Wednesday morning we had an appointment with Rebecca, our midwife, to strip my membranes and take cohosh in the hopes of getting labor started. With my low fluid levels and a breech baby we thought it was best to encourage things along. We did another non-stress test that morning too and Miriam was happy as always. When Rebecca stripped my membranes I was 4 cm dilated and 50% effaced with a bulging bag of waters quite low. Not a bad start.  We left Rebecca's office just before 10 and headed to Costco to get a few last minute things. I started having a few mild cramps. By the time we left Costco they had picked up a bit. We stopped at one more store to get diapers and pads and then headed home. It was just after 11 when we got home. I was having mild and crampy waves pretty close together but still didn't know if they would go anywhere. I had several things I wanted to get done around the house and thought I would have plenty of time. I got on the computer to do a quick post on my blog. By the time I was done with that I was having to really concentrate on the waves to relax. They were getting more intense and were VERY close together. Rebecca called around noon and said that was the cohosh at work. 

Rebecca got to our house about 1:45 and I got in the pool. I was so happy to be in the water. It really helped me relax more. The waves had spaced out a tiny bit so I was getting a bit more of a break between them, but they were also getting super intense. I knelt and leaned against the side of the pool and started vocalizing through them. About the time the second midwife arrived I started feeling pushy and felt a pop-- my water broke. This is also about the time my husband, Jared, left to take our son Asher around the corner to a friend's house. I started pushing involuntarily and pretty soon her bottom was out and then her legs. And Jared wasn't back yet!  Rebecca ran out the door to see if she could catch him but didn't see him. He got back when Miriam was half way out. Chris, the other midwife, told me to reach down and touch her so I was rubbing her back before her head was out. She got still for a moment while she got her arms out and then I pushed again and her head came right out super easy.  I just lifted her between my legs and turned around. No one else even touched her. I think the whole pushing phase was less than 5 minutes.

She was born at 2:41 pm. So I had roughly 3 to 3 1/2 hours of active labor. I think because of the cohosh and membrane stripping, everything was more intense. My waves were always super close together. It was definitely a fast ride. But I remained very calm and peaceful during the whole thing. Thank you, Hypnobabies!

When I lifted Miriam out of the water her eyes were wide open and she was quiet.  I rubbed her back and we put a towel on her and she started pinking up and making some noise. We hung out in the water until the cord stopped pulsing and then Rebecca clamped it and Jared cut it. Miriam eventually started nursing while Rebecca and Chris cleaned up and then checked me out. I didn't tear!  I'm not even sore. I only used one ice pack that day and have felt fine since.  Although labor was very fast and intense, I was always calm and never afraid. I always felt really peaceful about everything. Pushing was SO easy and painless and she came right out fast and perfectly.   I seriously felt SO good. I didn't feel like I had just had a baby. I put on some clothes and then we weighed and measured Miriam. 6 pounds 10 ounces, 19 1/2 inches long, 13 inch head. Absolutely perfect.

Birth Stories: Chris' First Baby, Born at Home

Just a little reminder to stop by Rachel's blog for a chance to win her beautiful clothespin apron; today is the last day to enter!  And now, on with the baby story...

Almost exactly five years ago I gave birth to my youngest child.  My pregnancy had been a planned homebirth with a CPM  (Jill) attending and it had been pretty uneventful pregnancy, except that “Baby Sprout” had remained breech until about 35 weeks (but spontaneously turned before we resorted to any strategies to encourage turning).  We had opted to not have an ultrasound, but the general thought was that this baby was a girl.  This was in part because of the breech positioning.  I guess woman that were breech (I was) are more likely to give birth to breech babies if the baby is a girl.

Ten days before my EDD my husband Ed and I attended a Kentucky Derby Party hosted every year my one of my husband’s friends.  We hired a babysitter, which we almost never do;  I put on a dress and a silly hat, and enjoyed what I knew was going to be the last child free evening for a long time.  While I was at the party I lost part of my mucus plug.  With my previous birth I had lost the mucus plug over a week before I gave birth so I tried not to get too excited.

We went home early that evening and I went to bed around 10 p.m.  Ed came to bed at 11 p.m... I heard him brushing his teeth and rolled over to go back to sleep.  At that point my water broke all over our bed.  I called our midwife and let her know.  At that point I was not really having any noticeable contractions, but an hour and a half later they picked up.  I called Jill  and told her to come as soon as she was ready.  I continued to lie in my bed and rest in between the contractions.   At about 12:30 the midwife arrived and she got her supplies out and had some coffee downstairs with Ed.  I continued to labor alone in our bedroom for a while. 

Later I started wandering around the house more and had several pretty strong contractions while kneeling on the floor with my head and hands supported by the couch.  A little after 3:00 I started to feel the urge to push and asked Jill to check my dilation.  She said I was fully dilated.  I started pushing and ended up pushing for about 20 minutes (I would guess about eight pushs total).  For the last push Ed and both midwives were teasing me about how close I was (I guess the baby was nearly completely crowned with all but the very widest part of his skull out already).  I pushed one more time and at about 3:45 a.m. on a warm May morning I got my best Mother’s Day gift ever.  At 7 lbs, 9 oz, and 21 inches long out came Oliver (not a girl as every one sort of expected).  He was as quiet and placid and wide awake as can be.  He nursed as I lay on my side (which amazed me since it took my older son and me a couple months to figure that out) while Ed lay on the bed on Oliver’s other side.  To this day it remains a perfect moment that seems sort of frozen in time.  But time has not frozen, and Oliver is a healthy, active, soon-to-be Kindergartner who is still the apple of his Momma’s and Daddy’s eye.

Birth Story: Jeanine's Ecstatic, Triumphant Birthing

Glenn was born early one snowy morning at our home in the mountains. I’d pondered my approach to labor for months. This was my third (and likely last) labor to personally experience, which made it that much more exhilarating. Since the beginning, I’d mentally prepared for this birth as if it were a marathon. I was eager and anxious to try out a new birthing method to see how the experience could be altered. So this time I did meditation and visualization, perhaps twice a month. I wanted to be present and in control, as much as possible. And I knew already that despite the descriptions of birth I’d been raised with, birth is empowering.

This time I was aiming for ecstatic.

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On the morning before Glenn’s birth, I stayed in bed as my girls played next to me. Finally, my oldest pulled open the curtains and announced, "Mama, morning time!" and they hopped into bed. We lay together, gazing out the window. It was a wet day, another winter storm expected to arrive. We told stories, watching the trees sway, the mist sweeping through the yard. And one tree in particular caught my eye. It was the tallest--a strong, unmovable tree with dark bark--an incense cedar. It occurred to me that this tree could be my visual for labor. Up until this point, I'd had some difficulty figuring out precisely how I was going to use visualization and meditation.

Later that night, I settled into the bath before bed and found myself floored. I stood to step out of the bath and found myself caught in another. I headed downstairs and my husband called the midwife. She asked me to wait an hour to confirm that things were picking up. This question of waiting put me in quite a quandary. The last birth had moved fast once I got in the zone, and this time it was night, a fresh layer of snow on the ground, and my midwife was a good hour away.

I stopped my labor, frightened of tearing as I had with both previous births. I hung onto the idea that I needed my midwife there to help me work through that final stage. An hour passed and I felt frustrated and disappointed. I wanted to call and say, “Come. Now. I want to have this baby.” And yet, labor had stalled out with my preoccupation. At midnight, I headed into our dark bedroom to sit. I needed to accept that this birth might be on our own. Another contraction came rolling in like a huge ocean wave. I stood tall. The pain washed right over me. And suddenly labor started up again, contractions suddenly coming on fast and strong.

My husband called the midwife and she headed out. At this point, I’d successfully let go of my expectations. Things pushed forward in a state of peace and continued intensity. As the contractions arrived, I found myself resting in my husband’s arms at times. And with each one, if I stood up straight and tall like the trees that surround our home, repeating, “I am a tree. I am strong,” the pain instantly diminished. When I began to get tired, the pain would seep in, causing aches in my body that I hadn’t felt since the last birth. I asked my husband to remind me of my tree with each contraction. I soared above it all.

Finally, I sat on the birth ball. Time swept, contractions passed, and the midwives arrived. I began feeling urges to push and knew my body was ready. But my water held tight. We woke our girls and they patiently sat watching. I finally moved onto the floor, leaning on a stool. Although I felt strong urges to push, I feared tearing and wanted to avoid active pushing as much as possible.

With each contraction and some light pushes, I bent and rolled my hips, waiting and wondering, “This could be my last contraction ever.” The thought alone made me savor it all.

And then suddenly, another contraction. My water broke, splashing at my feet. Baby’s head was crowning. “Blow out your push,” my midwife reminded me. Stretch. Open as wide as possible, I repeated. The contraction passed and I waited. With the next contraction baby’s head was out. “Blow it out,” they reminded me again. I held tight. And then on the third contraction I had no choice. I pushed, and my baby boy slipped out.

I can happily say that unlike my previous birth tears (which were sore for weeks afterward), I had no stitches and after three days in bed, I was up and functioning again. This birth was my most intimate and calm birth. And, I can attest to having an ecstatic birth. I’m happy to have shown my daughters what birth can be like, while imprinting upon my son, a peaceful entry into this world.

Birth Stories: Esther Maple's Joyful Arrival

Esther Maple came to us in a beautiful, peaceful way. I can hardly begin to write the whole account in its entirety without sacrificing the huge emotion that we all felt as we experienced this happy occasion. There is no denying that there is no comparison between giving birth at home and in the hospital. For us, the intimacy of this occasion belonged in our home and it was everything we wanted it to be. On Thursday (the day before her birth) I lost my mucous plug gradually and was really excited about it. Of course, every book and every midwife says that the mucous plug can be lost a whole week before the birth. I just knew it was going to happen soon and I was so thankful that something was finally happening and that very soon our baby would arrive. After putting our two year old son Harvest to bed, I made myself some caramel corn and settled in to watch a movie. I ended up falling asleep on the futon and at some point around 11ish I hauled my very pregnant body downstairs and attempted to get some more sleep. I didn't. At midnight I felt a gush of fluid come out of me and I sat right up. I woke Andy up and he helped me get up without getting fluid on the bed. I held a towel between my legs and went to the bathroom. My bag of waters had definitely broken. I stood over a towel and watched it gush out of me. I was very excited. Andy asked me what we should do and I told him we would go to bed and try to get some sleep before the contractions started. He was able to do this. I could not sleep for the life of me. I couldn't help but worry that contractions would never come (as it happened with Harvests birth) and I was just plain anxious. I went upstairs and watched the movie Ever After. This distracted me some. The contractions came at about 2 or 3 in the morning. They were irregular and not very painful. I rested through them but at about four o’clock I had Andy start a fire because the chilly air was making it hard to fully relax.
Once the house warmed up I felt great and I walked around the house with a blanket around my shoulders. Every time I had a contraction I would lean on a surface and breathe through it. I lay down in the bed with Harvest at one point because I wanted to smell him and be with him. He woke up a little and snuggled with me. When I had a contraction I went on hands and knees and rocked my pelvis back and forth. When I looked over, Harvest had a silly grin on his face in the dark. I told him that today was the day that baby Maple would be born. He whispered "yeah". At about six o'clock Andy brought me the phone to call our midwife, Monica. I told her what was going on and she suggested we wait a half hour and she would call me and see if things had progressed any. I had a contraction on the phone and she said that by the sounds of that contraction she thought she should leave right away. I could hear cows mooing in the background and I knew she was in the barn milking. As I waited for Monica, Andy cleaned the house, made muffins and washed the dishes. Harvest ran around and played. I kept walking around with the blanket around my shoulders, leaning on things with each contraction. I still felt really comfortable. Monica arrived around seven thirty and checked me. I was about 4 centimeters. This was the only time she checked me the whole labor. My friend Gwen had arrived to watch Harvest. They were engaged in some activity already. I seem to remember they were eating Popsicles and reading a Richard Scary book. I kept moving around and I sat on the yoga ball for awhile. I was feeling some back labor and people were applying pressure and heat to my back. At some point the midwife’s assistant Nancy (who is an experienced doula and my good friend’s mother) arrived and Andy started filling the birth pool. I was reluctant to get in right away because I was afraid it would slow labor down but eventually I did. I think it may have been around eight or eight thirty. It felt amazing. Warm water is a wonderful way to relieve pain. Instead of slowing things down, it made things happen faster! My contractions became stronger and closer together but I still felt great. I made deep moaning sounds because my instinct told me they would relax my uterus and help that baby move on through. With each contraction I made that sound. It was a little bit like a deep humming a tune. I would stay on one deep note for the whole contraction. I stayed in control and felt great until transition. Transition lasted about ten minutes and it was the only point that I felt a little fearful and the pain was to its limit. I could not find a position that helped to relieve pressure so I stayed upright and tried to keep my sounds deep. It was hard to breathe and my eyes were bulging out with the contractions. I told Monica that I couldn't do it and that I needed something. She gave me some sort of homeopathic pain reliever to put under my tongue. I still remember Monica saying something about how she didn't think I was at the end yet and that I needed to keep on doing what I was doing. Well, all of the sudden I felt this huge urge to push. It was such a powerful surge of feeling that my whole body jerked and I whirled around. I could feel poop coming out and baby. I said that I had to push. Monica asked me if I wanted to put my fingers up there and see if I could feel anything. When I reached my fingers up I could feel the head already. "I can feel the head!" I yelled. Monica told me to go ahead and push when the contractions came. I didn't really have to do a ton of pushing. It was an uncontrollable thing. My body was going to blast that baby out and quickly! Monica asked if I wanted her to help me with perinneal support and I told her that I could do it. I kept my hands down there and pushed that head out and we all marveled at the excitement of this. I felt that burning feeling as the head came out but after that it was all numb down there. I kept my hands on the head without pushing again for two contractions and Monica said she wanted me to get the shoulders out with the next contraction because of the fact that there was some poop in the water and it is unsanitary for the baby's head to be in that for long. With the next contraction I pushed the shoulders out and the body slid right out as well. I reached down and caught my own baby and put her to my chest. I looked up to see Harvest standing next to the pool with Gwen. He had an angelic look of delight on his face. What a wonderful thing for him to experience his sister born in such a peaceful way. We had prepared him well for the birth. The cord was around the baby's neck and the baby was a tad blue, but the energy was still positive and peaceful. Once Monica unwrapped the cord and opened up her arms a little she pinked up and started to cry. I was in so much shock I forgot to check the sex but a weeping Andy announced it to me. "Hannah, it is a girl!" I could not believe I had had a little girl. How wonderful! Andy and Gwen were both crying but my eyes were dry. It was too intense for me to feel real enough to cry. The pushing took a total of six minutes and active labor was only a few hours. pushing felt so good. It was the highlight of the event for sure. We named the healthy baby girl Esther Maple. Sweet little Esther. She is so beautiful and we are so complete. I am so thankful for such a healthy pregnancy and a perfect birthing experience. After the birth we all snuggled in our bed with Esther and relaxed as a family. Esther nursed right away like a pro and she weighed 8 lbs 14 oz. What a beautiful way to experience birth.

Birth Stories: Hannah and Grace, at a Birth Center in London

I was a surprised the morning I awoke to my sac of water breaking.  It wasn’t necessarily early; our baby girl was due in two more weeks,  but for some reason it was a shock.   I sat up in bed and realized  I would finally meet our second baby girl that day.  My last birth involved an epidural and I had decided this time would be different.  After eating breakfast, showering and making sure our daughter was safe in the care of her grandmother, we got our things and headed to the birthing center. 

Rob and I left for the midwife-led birthing center knowing there were no free rooms.  We were told on the phone they were very busy and it might be possible that a birthing room would not available, in which case I would give birth in one of the exam rooms.  Obviously this was not an ideal situation, but I refused to let any negative thoughts creep in.   A week before we weren’t even sure if we would be able to go to the birthing center, as our baby had been in the breech position.  The doctors were able to turn her around with a cephalic inversion and luckily she stayed head down.  I felt blessed that we were able to have a natural birth after thinking that I might have to have a cesarean section.  We were prepared to deal with what the day would hold for us.
So far I had been breathing through my contractions very easily,  taking time to rest in between.  The midwives suggested we take a walk outside, but I preferred to stay close to the center and away from the busy streets of central London.  Rob and I sat  on a bench for about an hour, watching the hustle and bustle of the hospital outside the birthing center.  We decided to go back inside, as I was drinking lots of water and needed to use the bathroom frequently.  I sat in the waiting area, when my contractions came I stood up, faced the wall and put my arms up to support myself against it.  There were women, some with partners, coming in to the birthing center for last appointments and orientation.  Rob and I were scheduled to have ours that weekend.  I was acutely aware that these women,  most of whom were about to have their first baby, were watching me in order to glean some understanding of what their labor might be like.   I focused on remaining focused and calm.  As the contractions got stronger I used the wall to center and support myself. 

By the time my midwife, Ona, came to tell us that our room was free, I was feeling the urge to get down on my hands and knees. I knew it wouldn’t be long. Our room was calm, clean and dimly light.   Everything was there: a birthing stool, ropes to use as arm support, a birthing pool, a bed.   In my mind I had pictured myself using the birthing stool, but when we entered the room I decided to try using the ropes.  After one or two contractions I asked to have the pool filled up.  Within minutes it was full. I climbed in and didn’t leave until our baby was born. 

The contractions in the final stage were the most intense yet somehow beautiful pains I have ever felt.  With warm water enveloping me,  Rob and Ona wiping my brow with a cool cloth and giving me sips of cool water, I pushed for half an hour.   With each contraction I reached further inside myself for strength, knowing this  was what my body was designed to do.  Her head came out and I stayed in the water until  she was born at 1:30 p.m.  I took her in my arms and held her until the cord stopped pulsing.  She was beautiful.  Her name would be Grace. 

Birth Stories: Rachel and Io, Unassisted at Home

39 weeks, 6 days
Active Labor: 1 hour 30 minutes (pre-labor on and off all day)
6 pounds, 14 ounces. 18 inches long.
Birth Lingo: 2nd HBAC, born unassisted. Posterior, water birth.

Our family's journey to a joyful birth was a full circle experience. 5 years prior our first daughter died in my arms on the operating table, born via c-section at 39 weeks. She had a genetic condition not compatible with life. The subsequent weeks, months, and years of our recovering from the events around her brief life and death were complicated by environment into which she was born: bright lights, rough handling, the nausea of being medicated, and a general feeling of disbelief and shock. Pregnant again 8 months later, we decided to leave the hospital behind and find a birthing environment where we felt safe and honored. Our son was born at home after an uncomplicated labor, although in hindsight it took months to even process what had happened in the last 18 months. We were still in shock over his sister's death. By the time our third child was ready to be born, I was finally in a place of peace and excitement. I felt completely supported by my team and extended family, our house was settled, and all the long lonely nights of visualizing the birth I wanted could come together in an event of utmost joy.

Wednesday morning was 1 day before the official due date. I was awoken around 7:00 AM with a mild contraction, then again about 10 minutes later…  It was gorgeous outside, I had slept fairly well, and it was my son Leif’s first day of preschool. I spent a few moments thinking that today might finally be the day, and decided to time some contractions and call my husband Britton after an hour if they seemed to be going anywhere.  The contractions came about every 10 or 15 minutes, but were fairly mild; they were not getting “longer, stronger, or closer together” as is expected from active labor.  But I decided to call Britton and have him come home just in case, since I felt like if my water broke or things decided to turn into active labor it could go quickly. I walked Leif to school, came home and cleaned, took a bath, and then a nap. I went and got a pedicure and then took a long slow walk on my favorite road.

Around 8:45 or 9:00 PM I felt anxious and irritated about everything… started pacing in the living room and noticed that I had a couple of contractions in a row. By 9:15 I needed to vocalize through them and was pacing back and forth in figure eights all around the house. I barked out some orders to Britton and Leif to call the midwife, doula, and other helpers and to get the tub ready.

Around 10:00 the tub had enough water for me to sit in (came maybe half way up my belly) and it was such a relief. I remember this with Leif’s birth – being so happy at the change in pace. It made the contractions noticeably less painful, spaced them out a bit, and I was able to be semi-social between them. Britton and Leif sat on the bed and watched; when I wasn’t yelling Leif would come over and talk to me. When one would start again he would scramble onto the bed and be still for me. At one point he went and got his fireman’s hat which made me laugh a little…the water had really helped slow the labor and improve my mood.

About 10:30 the doula arrived and she went upstairs to change her clothes and wash her hands. I noisily pushed through about 2 or 3 contractions during that time – since the doula was there I felt like I could really go for it and have some backup if the baby was born. She wasn’t crowning or even really descended so I felt like I had lots of time.  The next contraction I really pushed and felt her come all the way down (I was kneeling forward over the edge of the tub). Doula asked if I needed anything and I asked for some support from behind, she put her hands on my hips and I felt much more stable. Next contraction a minute later or so (seems like no time at all) and I pushed out her shoulders and she slipped into the water. Doula held her while I flipped over, then she handed her to me and called for Britton.

I sat with her and just stared, rubbed her back and cooed with her. She looked right at me then closed her eyes and took some gurgle breaths through her nose, but no crying. Britton and Leif came in. She was pinkish and I could feel her cord pulsing so I felt like she was doing just fine. We tried to stimulate her feet and back, tipped her up to drain some fluid, still no crying. But her color, tone, and breathing were good so we eventually stopped trying to have her really clear her lungs. She was perfect! Doula was on the phone with the assistant midwife through this time and I felt well supported. It was not in the least bit scary.  The midwife (and friend Hilary) showed up about 10 minutes after she was born. Then we transferred to the bed, cut the cord, took some pictures, and rejoiced. She was alert and perfect in every way and I felt really good.  My parents made me breakfast in bed  – one of the best meals of my life. Orange juice has never been so good! We finally all settled into bed around 3:00 AM and slept till the next morning.

Birth Stories: Katrina's Third Home Birth

A lovely home birth story from Katrina:

Just before 6 am Thursday morning, I woke famished and was feeling a bit of “something.” I couldn’t wait for everyone to wake and decided to make myself breakfast: a three egg omelet, orange juice, and toast. My mom has been up since late Monday night, helping me prepare for this little one’s arrival. I was really hoping that he would come while she was here. As I finished cooking, she woke and I apologized for waking her so early. I explained that I was feeling things, but they felt like the previous 4 false alarms, so I didn’t want to get excited.  Though, it was my “due date” according to Richelle, our midwife, and how many false alarms can you have anyways? :) 

 

I asked my husband for a blessing. This labor was different and I wasn’t sure what to do next. One of the things he told me during the blessing was that Jesus was pleased with my choice to have this baby and that it was a necessary part of His Atonement. He blessed me with the power to overcome the pain. Thinking about Christ’s Atonement made a big difference for me, I now had the vision that I needed to complete this mission. Knowing that even though the pain was surprisingly different, the power to overcome it was available, I knew that it was His Atonement that would help me.

When Richelle had come for our 36 week visit, we had gone over a more detailed plan for Garrett’s birth. We had discussed preferences and special wishes. Really, my only special request that I’d suggested was having salmon. My husband had fed me salmon towards the end of my daughter’s birth and I’d really enjoyed that. We have a running joke that I thought we’d have lunch together after she was born. Well I bought the salmon last week with hopes of #3’s soon arrival. So after Richelle had checked me I looked at my husband between contractions and asked him if he thought we could have salmon for lunch. He smiled, laughed, and asked me if I knew what time it was. It was 11:30. We decided a very late lunch might be an option though.

After laboring for a bit on the bed, I went back into the tub (I think this was “transition”). I hung over the tub, Richelle would press on pressure points in my lower back, and my husband was supporting my chin so that I could make “low, deep sounds.” I was relieved that Richelle was there. I needed a bit more help, and she knew just what I needed. Once again, I was feeling new things. In fact, I was actually feeling him drop down inside of me as I tried to open up for him. “Yield to your baby” and “relax,” Richelle would say.

I knew we were nearing the end. Almost hearing my thoughts, Richelle asked if I wanted to change positions. Delivering hanging over the tub, squatting, didn’t sound so great. I’d really liked delivering my eldest on my side, so I laid on my side in the tub. A few moments later I felt a great contraction, reached down and there was his hairy head. I tried even harder to relax and let him come through. It was difficult to relax and not push, so I asked Richelle if I could push. She said to hold off as long as possible to allow stretching. I held out as long as I could and soon felt his head coming through. Just thinking of relaxing made all of the difference. (no tearing to report :)).

Out came his head and his right hand along his cheek. Another push and there he was: born 12:20 pm.  He was so peaceful, just looking at us all. Though he didn’t breathe for a while, and didn’t seem to want to either. He was making these distinctive “old man” grimaces as we tried to coax him to take a breath. Just like his older brother and his father, he was holding his breath at this new experience/trauma. My husband blew into his face and it seemed to do the trick (something we do when our eldest is holding his breath).

We all feel so thankful and blessed to welcome our littlest son safely into the world and to this overly excited little family. And if you’re still wondering…yes, we did get to eat salmon for lunch!

Birth Stories: An Adoption Story

I have a birth story that is pretty unique.  I could tell you about the three birthing experiences I had for my biological children...all of those experiences completely unique from one another.  The first one I had to have a C-section, and almost died!  The second one I was induced for a week and a half, and still no baby, so I had to have another C-section (this time, it went well.)  The third birth I was induced differently and it worked!  Almost worked too well...I dilated from a 0 to a 10 in 20 min., so needless to say, it was completely natural!  My fourth child was not born of my body, but certainly by my heart.  It was full of ups and downs, and took a couple of years to complete, and was definitely an adventure all on its own! 

But the birth story that I want to share is of my newest and youngest child, Abi.  She was only born two and a half weeks ago, in a far-away land that I have never been to.  This child too was not born of my body, but certainly of my heart.  The lady that has guided us through this adoption and who we have gotten to know well, our case-worker,  was fortunate enough to actually arrive in the country the day before my baby was born.  In a newsletter that she sends to those of us adopting from this place, she wrote about the birth of my daughter...something that the majority of all adopted parents (at least those adopting internationally) never get to have.  Here is what she wrote:

 

"The second day I arrived I got a call in the morning telling me that we had to take a birth mother to the hospital, that "D" (the lady that runs the home for pregnant girls) thinks she is ready to have her baby!  I have to admit, I was scared and excited at the same moment, I have never witnessed a birth, much less even seen a woman have a contraction.  We got to the hospital and the doctor said that she had a ways to go but that he definitely felt that the baby would be born that day!  I followed D, along with our home's live-in counselor, the nurse, and our birth mom up into a room where she would rest until she was ready to give birth.  We were in the room for hours as this mother's pain grew in intensity.  I sat by her, holding her hand and encouraging her in a language that she did not know.  She had no pain medication - (not available in this city) and she was the bravest woman I have ever seen.  She squeezed my hands and looked into my eyes as the contractions hit and became more painful.  As I looked back at her talking to her in the limited [local language] that I knew, I was struck in that moment to tears.  This young woman was looking in the eyes of a stranger who didn't even speak her language during this huge moment in her life, her mother wasn't there (had left her when she was a young child), her father didn't even know that she was pregnant, and her boyfriend left her.  D and the "home" staff have been her family.  At the end of this experience, this unbelievable experience, it was not even for a baby that would be hers, but one she loved enough to give to a family far away to hold and keep safe.

 

These babies are incredible gifts, the greatest gifts that can be given.  This mother went through 9 months of a pregnancy and hours of birth, when most other unwed pregnant teens in [this country] are going through an abortion, she gave life to a child that she will not keep.  I was struck with how profound what we do is, with how significant our work and ministry in [this country] is, and how very precious each of these children are."

 

As you can imagine, the account of my baby's birth will be cherished forever by us.  We have also been incredibly blessed by the fact that this unselfish birth mother wanted to have her baby's birth videoed for the family that would love her and raise her as their very own.  Speaking to an international adoption doctor a few nights ago, he said that he has NEVER, EVER heard of that happening.  I thank God that we have that gift of our baby's birth!!

(Certain things were put in quotes and parenthesis to protect to people involved and the location of where this took place.)

Birth Stories: Rebecca Overson

This story is from local prenatal massage therapist, Rebecca.  I'm including a portion of the story from the birth of her first son, Shawn, because I love the thoughts her mother shares.  The second part is the story of her second son's birth, also born at home. 

Shawn was born after 15 hours of slow and intensely painful labor. That experience was both terrifying yet thrilling. At one point while I was nearing transition, I was crying and I looked up at my mother and said, “Mom, I can’t do this. I am going to die. I am going to die.” She looked right back at me and said, “You know what, Rebecca? You ARE going to die. The carefree maiden you have been all your life is dying. You are giving birth to yourself, as a mother. It is the hardest thing you have ever had to do. And you CAN do it, because look at you – you ARE doing it!”

My mother always viewed birth as a rite of passage, a spiritual transition, an initiation into a new realm. She firmly believed that a woman must put her blood, sweat, and tears on the line for the child she was birthing – that it was an opportunity to demonstrate that she had the strength to be a mother....

This was not a time to avoid pain, because motherhood is painful at times. This is not a time to seek comfort, because motherhood is not comfortable. This is not a time to shrink back, because motherhood requires that a woman reach deep inside her soul and show what she really stands for. It is in birth, my mother taught me, that a woman must stand up, show her trust in herself, and her trust in God, and be consciously involved in a deliberate act of creation by giving your heart, might, mind, and strength to what is before you.

Win's Birth

As the contractions began the morning of September 13, 2008, I did not really think I was in labor. I focused on being as relaxed as possible, allowing my body to do what it needed. These early contractions were welcomed, and they even felt invigorating like a good workout. Around 3 p.m. they jumped to 3 minutes apart, but still were not painful. How was that even possible? My midwife Chris arrived at 4:45 p.m. and shortly thereafter, hard labor kicked in. The contractions became much more intense and I could not talk through them, but again, they were not painful, just lots of pressure. I got in the birthing tub around 6 p.m. and continued to remain as relaxed as possible. My mind knew what to expect, and I opened to it. I even observed those thoughts of dread going through my head like “I can not do this. Do I really have to do this again? This is not happening already!” – but because of my mindfulness focus, I was able to simply notice the thoughts and I did not have to react to them. (By the way, every woman in labor says “I can’t do this” and usually does so right when birth is imminent!) I surrendered to each contraction, much like one would surrender to contractions of the respiratory diaphragm when vomiting or sneezing. As I reclined against the wall of the birthing tub, I repeatedly whispered to myself “Just feel this. Just feel what this feels like.” I just observed my body in the process, doing what it knows instinctively to do. My body was shaking uncontrollably as the baby descended down the birth canal. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom, and I warned my midwife. She said, “Honey, that’s the baby’s head.” I couldn’t believe it. I reached down and sure enough, there was his wrinkly little head beginning to crown. The contractions continued and it actually felt so good to feel him moving down the birth canal. (I would say I “pushed” but it actually felt effortless, like I was being pushed.)

  His head was fully born in about two contractions, but his shoulder became stuck. After about thirty seconds, my midwife said “stand up,” which I couldn’t, until she took both my hands, with my arms and back stiff as a board, and pulled me up like a lever so I could bend over the edge of the birthing tub. She came around to my backside, and with one final, intense push, he was born with the assistance of gravity. I could not believe it when he was out. He was born at 6:32 p.m., less than two hours after hard labor began. He was 9 ½ pounds, and my body suffered zero damage or tearing during delivery. (I am only 5’3”). I sat back down in the birthing tub and clutched him to my chest. The experience was so ecstatic, so joyful, and so incredibly wonderful. The first thing I said was, “That was awesome!"  While the physical sensations I experienced were very intense, it was not painful. It did not hurt! It was truly, transformative, and I attribute much of the wonder of the experience to my commitment to birthing mindfully and willingly, to fully experience whatever it is that is before me. I felt like the queen of the world—a true Goddess in Embryo. I wish all women could feel what it is like to give birth without fear and to fully know what they are capable of.

Birth Stories: Jennie and Kyan

Birthing Kyan was sudden.  He was due in the middle of January and decided to make his entrance Christmas day.  Labour began at midnight when I was exactly 37 weeks (to the hour) pregnant.  In British Columbia home births are permitted after 37 weeks so we were right down to the wire.   We had planned a home birth and had most of our supplies but were not mentally ready to accept that birth was indeed happening.  False labour we kept thinking, but it just kept going.

Pregnancy taught me to live one day, one hour, and even one minute at a time.  Birthing was the same thing.  Just breathe, move, feel the movement of the baby, open, breathe, move.  One contraction at a time, no clocks.  I laboured on the floor between the bottom of our bed and the small bathroom.  Joni Mitchell played in the background.  My best friend sang to me, my husband was always there in my periphery, and the midwife set up her kit and was a quiet strength.   When she gently checked me for dilation the number 8 was what I saw in my mind. When Janice said 8 centimetres great work Jennie,  the number made me feel like I could keep going.  The number 8 and then my water broke.

I thought I was really loud during labour but apparently I wasn’t.   The sounds coming out were primal and helped me to let the pain go.  Pushing was so tiring.  I just kept asking the baby to come out, move down and meet me.  After Kyan’s head was out the rest of him appeared after one push.  Dave sat behind me when I pushed and I felt him sob as Kyan came out.  Instantly I was compelled to hold my little one, stroking his hair as the midwife attended to me.  His cord was so short that he couldn’t move beyond my belly until the placenta was out.  I felt relief and disbelief that it was over and I had done it for the first half hour or so.  For the rest of the day I felt like shouting to the world.  Do you know what I just did?  I just brought new life into the world.  I just birthed a babe.  He is 7 pounds of wonderful; I made him inside me and pushed him out of my body. 

I birthed him in a dark, quiet room.  3 loving women and his Daddy watched and helped me.  I look at him now over 2 years later and I marvel that he ever fit inside me.  I remember how he felt inside, how he liked to move certain ways and the relationship we had before we had seen each other. His smell was very powerful after birth it was an earthy smell, somehow it was mysterious and innocent to me. I am proud of the birth that Kyan and I shared.  Proud of the process, of trusting it and letting it happen as he and I chose.  I don’t think I was more brave or stronger than any other woman.   For millennia we have birthed babies and all those women were there with me reminding my brain to be silent and let my body do what it needed to do.  I was a surrender warrior and yes that term is a contradiction but for the journey of birthing a babe I think it fits.     

Birth Stories: Lane, Told She Would Never Have Children, Proves Them Wrong

I wanted to share the story of my second birth. I have a very rare birth defect. I was told at 15 years old that I would never be able to have children. When I became pregnant, I was a medical mystery. I had to see many specialists. The thought was that I would need a scheduled c-section. And yet, I had a natural birth with both my son and daughter.

The day that I went into labor with my second, I looked at my husband and he looked at me and we knew we had this. When my husband and I arrived at the hospital, our nurse looked at my leg and said something rude and discouraging. But I knew otherwise.

When we arrived at the hospital I was still in the very early stages of labor. I came as soon as I thought I was in labor because of my birth defect. When I could no longer sleep, I woke up my husband and we walked around the room. I got in the shower for a bit. At that point I became nauseous, so I asked my husband to help me out. I walked back to my room and through a big contraction. When I got back to the room, my labor started to intensify quickly. Through  every contraction my husband held my hand and stroked the hair out of my eyes. It felt so calming, just like something my mom used to do when I was a little girl. He whispered in my ear, "You got this... We get to meet our daughter in a little bit," and my favorite, "Your body is strong enough to do this."

When it came time to push, I felt like the second time around I knew exactly what to do. Two quick pushes and she was out. When I had my first child I felt as if it was just dumb luck that I had done it. With my second I felt as if it was not dumb luck but something that even my different body was meant to do. I felt so beautiful as my little girl was put on my chest. She barely cried once she got there. Then just like he had done for me, he  whispered to our new baby "Welcome, you should be so proud of your mama."
 
The odds were stacked against me, but I did it with my own body and mind.
*The things that helped me was having a good labor coach, my husband was the picture of calm and love. When every person that is an "expert" is telling you one thing, it is nice to have someone who really believes in you.

Birth Stories: Katrina and Asher

Katrina and Asher are friends of mine and Sam's.  Asher is only a little younger than Sam and Katrina was in the Hypnobabies class I just took.  She did the home study course the first time around and wanted to take the actual class this time to really get into it.  She also happens to be a very talented photographer and just started an exciting project photographing nursing moms!

Labor with my son Asher began at 38 weeks. Well that's when the REAL labor began. I had two bouts of preterm labor earlier in the third trimester which dilated me 3-4 cm and then two weeks of prodromal labor that always petered out after several hours. I knew it was real this time because the contractions woke me up from my sleep at 2 in the morning. I spent a couple of hours in bed listening to my Hypnobabies tracts on my ipod and letting my husband sleep. As things got more intense, I decided to wake Jared. I then spent a couple of hours in the bathtub--my favorite place during pregnancy and during all my prodromal labor.

At the hospital, the midwife checked me and I was a 6! Everyone seemed to think my labor would go pretty quickly, but it ended up being a rather long day on only 2 hours of sleep. My labor was definitely labor! It was hard mental work to stay focused and relaxed. And I certainly had that moment during transition where I said I couldn't do it anymore. My birth plan insisted on no drugs and that wish was respected. I was never offered any drugs and didn't have an IV or even a heplock. Other than intermittent monitoring of the baby's heart beat, I was left alone for the most part to do my thing. I was definitely in my own zone. I was mostly very quiet and didn't even want my husband to touch me. It was very internal work. I was so connected to my body that it almost felt like an out of body experience, if that makes any sense.

It was about 2 pm when I started feeling pushy and had the midwife confirm that I was fully dilated. I pushed for awhile sitting on the birth stool and then moved up on the bed. They set up the squat bar but I was much too tired at this point to actually squat. They tied a sheet to the top of the bar which I pulled with my arms as I pushed with my feet against the sides of the bar. It took 3 hours to push my baby out. Pushing was not at all painful for me, but it was exhausting! His head was basically crowning for much of that three hours. Thankfully, the midwife was wonderful and spent those hours massaging me with oil and helping me stretch. (I only had a very small tear with one stitch!)

When Asher finally made his appearance he started screaming as soon as hit head was out. I remember reaching down and holding him under his armpits but I was too tired and he was too slippery for me to lift him. Jared lifted him to my chest where I cradled him and breathed a huge sigh of relief. I had done it! I was tired and exhausted but so thrilled that I had persevered and had the birth I wanted.  I had my baby in my arms. He was healthy and beautiful despite being rather smooshed after being in the birth canal so long.  I held him for long time before they took him and weighed him. He was 8 pounds even--bigger than I was expecting my early baby to be.

I don't think there is anything more empowering than birthing a baby. It is a transformative experience like no other. It is so good to know that our bodies can create these perfect little humans and get them out! I am now expecting my second baby and planning a home birth. I am really looking forward to staying in my comfortable home where I can stay better focused. I have confidence in my body to birth. I am preparing once again with Hypnobabies and am excited to experience the miracle of natural birth again.

Birth Stories: Olivia's Twin Homebirth

My sweet twin babies were born on their estimated due date, 7 lb. 14 oz and 7 lb. 10 oz., at home in our bed. They were healthy, alert and started nursing minutes after birth. I could not have been a happier!

Never did we imagine that we would be the parents to twins. I had discovered I was pregnant for the fourth time and scheduled a routine 20 week anatomy ultrasound. The technician surprised us when she announced there were TWO babies! Baby A and Baby B!

This news did not change our minds on continuing with my midwife and planning a home birth. However, it did alter our original plan and I knew I needed to prepare for the alternative in case of complications. My husband and I discussed certain terms under which we would be comfortable having our babies at home. We wanted to be sure both babies were a healthy weight and 36+ weeks. I ultimately had 3 ultrasounds to measure their progress and the results were positive and encouraging.

I scoured the internet. I read forums on home birth, free birth, breech births, twin births and twin HBAC. I also read the other side. I gathered knowledge on birthing twins in a hospital or whether a birthing center could be an option. I read about inductions, c-sections, epidurals, and more.  On both sides, there were some favorable and unfavorable results. I had to drink in all that information and let it swirl inside my heart. It was an important decision that would ultimately effect our lives and everyone around us. More importantly, I wanted what was best for the twins.

I researched the standard of care for twin births at our local hospitals. The twins would most likely be induced at 37 weeks gestation, earlier if any problems arose. I would need to have a mandatory epidural, just in case of complications. If I wished to attempt a vaginal birth with Isabella then Grace would most likely be delivered by c-section due to her breech positioning. Also, only my husband would be allowed to be present during the birth. The end result was that we should pre-schedule a c-section and be done with any more decision making. I was greatly discouraged by this news.

Women prepare for their babies for three-quarters of a year, sometimes starting even before their pregnancies! They take their pre-natal vitamins, eat healthy, drink plenty of water, diligently go to doctor visits and rest as often as possible. They avoid certain chemicals while cleaning and stop their daily doses of caffeine to then be told to throw their convictions to the wind and succumb to “hospital procedures”? It felt like I was studying hard for that big final exam that I would end up cheating on at the last minute! I wasn’t convinced this was the best way.

Our ultimate decision was that we would plan for a twin home birth with the option that if either one of us ever felt uncomfortable or any testing came back unfavorable we would pursue a hospital birth with our midwife attending as a doula.

My three older daughters, Madelyn, Lana and Sophia were a flurry of excitement each day, kissing my belly and feeling for each individual babies’ kicks! They drew us pictures and stories and chatted to their friends and teachers about meeting their new sisters! Their anticipation was incredible!

We waited and waited. 40 weeks hit and I was still shuffling to pick up my two oldest from school. I walked as much as I could to start labor but it was rough and I was tired. I went into labor the night of my estimated due date, April 30th.

I recall murmurs and whispers, the smell of tea and a warm room, the window was open and my mother and sister were cooling me with makeshift fans. I could hear my husband making sure things were in place and I was taken care of. The waves of contractions coming closer together and the babies shifting, ready.

Isabella was first and it seemed like forever until I heard her cries but how sweet they were. I patted Gracie’s body, still inside, whispering to her to be patient for she was next. Grace's birth was quick, and 18 minutes on the heels of her sister, she arrived safely. She had turned from her breech position to a full vertex and all was well.

In those wee hours on May 1st, I shared a birthday cake with 3 wonderful midwives and 14 family members. They had just witnessed an event some may never experience in a lifetime... and then they were blessed enough to see it twice!

Birth Stories: Mariana's Natural Birth After TWO Cesareans

I had my last appointment with the residents on Friday, July 31st in which they scheduled c-section at 41 weeks (August 5th, 2009). I naturally panicked and tried a lot of natural induction techniques that day. Something worked... Pressure waves (contractions) started at 1 am Saturday. They were pretty intense but spaced apart every 10 minutes. My doula Becky, arrived at 7:30 am. I had my headphones on listening to my hypnobabies tracks while I sat on a birthing ball and leaned against the bed.

We had some breakfast... eggs and toast. Then my husband went to take a nap...lucky him. Becky and I started a walk around the block at 2pm to try to get things moving. The pressure waves were still spaced 10 min apart and within minutes of starting our walk, the pressure waves were coming every 3-4 minutes. I had to lean on her or the fence. We walked around the block about 5 times. I asked her how far along I might be and she said she believed I was still in early labor. When I heard that, I thought to myself, "What?!!!" How can I still be in early labor when everything felt sooo intense? How was active labor going to feel?!!!

When we got back home I managed to heat up some veggie burgers. I went upstairs and the pressure waves were still every 3-4 minutes, however they were really intense. After an hour or so, I went in the hot shower and lost my mucus plug almost immediately. I called Becky over and she had a surprised look on her face and said something like, "Wow, that hot water seemed to get things started." Again I thought to myself, "What?!!" Could I barely be entering Active Labor?"
I reached down again and something told me to self examine myself... I did and felt her head! I told Becky and she decided to check me as well. She turned to me and said,"We have to go now!" I freaked out and lost complete focus. There was no way I could make it to my hospital that was 30 min away. We had to go to the VBAC-banned hospital a few minutes away.

Whole ride there I was involuntarily pushing and then holding her in. We finally got there and they were ready for me. I started pushing and it felt good to push. On the fourth push, I let out a primal scream that my husband still imitates and reenacts, and my daughter Olivia Grace was born. We arrived there at 5:00pm and I had her at 5:30. She weighed 8lbs 3oz, much larger than my first two.

The greatest experience ever. I still can't believe it happened. Well I can... I prepared so much and was completely confident. I think that was key. If only I started that walk earlier on. 16 hours total from the time the first pressure wave started. But maybe that was only early labor the first couple of hours. The walk is what got things started. From the time of my walk to the time she was born was 3.5 hours.

I couldn't have done it without the help of my doula, hypnobabies, ICAN and my family. Thanks to you all!

Mariana
Mommy to Benjamin (9-11-04)c-section, Amelia (2-23-06) c-section, and Olivia (8-1-09) VBA2C

Birth Stories: Bley's Sweet Birthing Center Experience

I grew up in a family of women who had all birthed naturally and greatly valued the experience, so when I got pregnant I knew it would be a goal of mine too.  My husband and I are fortunate to live in an area with a hospital that contains a natural birthing center inside the hospital.  For our first birth, this made us feel so comfortable, knowing that all of our preferences for natural birth would be supported and affirmed, but also knowing that in the case of necessary interventions, the regular hospital wards were just down the hall.  My nine months passed with no complications or risk factors, and my due date came and went, and I was just starting to feel resigned to the fact that the baby wasn’t going to come after all.  Saturday night, we went to bed about 10:00 p.m., and I started to feel sick.  I got up to visit the potty, but was never really ill, and after many repetitions of this, about 20 minutes apart, I started to catch on that I was in labor!  But I wanted to let my husband sleep as long as possible, so I would get up and work through the surges, go back to bed, and I waited until about 5:00 a.m. before waking my husband to help me time them.  I took a bath, tried to relax, and we kept a nice little record of my surges on paper (he’s an engineer!).   

We arrived at the hospital around 7:30 a.m. and went to the birthing center, and I was about 4 cm dilated.  Over the course of the next several hours, I walked, rocked on the birthing ball, and used hydrotherapy to help manage my surges.  The transition stage was very intense for me, and lasted for several more hours, until my midwife realized that my membranes hadn’t yet ruptured.  We then chose to go ahead and break my waters, so that this baby could come out!  A couple more hours of surges and pushing, and our son was born.  All that hard work of laboring with my water intact had provided him with a wonderful cushion for his little body and head as he made his way through my body.  He was simply born a beautiful baby!  He entered our life at 2:20 p.m. that Sunday, and the most priceless moments of my life were nursing him, looking into his tiny face, shortly after he emerged.  How amazing that God would make us a family and entrust us with the care of something so precious! 

Reflecting on and sharing our son’s birth has been a great exercise for me, because it was a very positive experience.  I ended up losing a lot of blood after the birth as my uterus didn’t clamp down like it should have, and the physical weakness accompanying this circumstance really colored my memories of that whole time, and left me feeling negative about it.  But looking back to the labor and birth, I realize that it was an empowering experience; I succeeded; I met my goals, and was able to birth our son naturally!   

That was 13 months ago, and our son is our greatest joy.  We are now preparing for the birth of his sibling in a few short weeks!

Birth Stories: Amanda and Wyatt

When I was pregnant people kept saying to me ‘you must be terrified’ and when I said not really they told me, with a knowing nod, that I only felt that way because I didn’t know better. And when I told them I wanted a natural childbirth I was told I was crazy and only felt that way because I hadn’t given birth yet. I mean I wasn’t thrilled about birth because, you know, I had heard it’s no walk in the park! But I wasn’t really scared either. I was certainly a bit apprehensive but I really tried not to dwell on it. I didn’t want to psych myself out or make myself crazy [or actually scared] envisioning all of the worst possibilities.I really just focused on my sincere belief that women are built for this and that women have been birthing babies since the beginning of time. I tried to just trust my body. It had been making a baby for 9 months with little help from me - I figured it could handle the rest too! My baby daddy and I took a class and read a lot and tried to be educated about the processes and options but also to keep an open mind about the experience. I felt avoiding preconceptions was also the best way to avoid panic if something didn’t go according to plan.

I was supposed to have my baby at the Cambridge Birth Center but when my water broke there was meconium in it and according to MA law I was required to transfer to a hospital in case my baby needed immediate medical care. My amazing midwife just packed me up and wheeled me across the street to the hospital, pausing for my contractions. She stayed with me the entire time, guiding me through birth and was wonderful about looking out for me and my interests, given that I had been planning an intervention-free water birth at the birthing center. I was disappointed for a moment but then there wasn’t any time to think about it.  And besides, what was to be disappointed with?  I was about to have a baby!

I was amazed by how much my body just did on its own. It was incredible. My mom was behind my head wiping my forehead with a cold washcloth between pushes (ladies, I highly recommend assigning someone to this task; you don’t realize how hot you are until that cloth touches your forehead between pushes and feels incredibly cool and refreshing) and my BD, Adam, was holding one leg while a nurse held the other. Adam was unbelievable. When I was having really strong contractions he stood in front of me while I was sitting and I just squeezed his middle and pushed my head into his stomach while he held my head and rubbed my shoulders. He reminded me when to breath, gave me encouragement just when I needed it and really kept me grounded and focused. I can’t imagine doing it without him. We had a doula scheduled but never ended up calling her because everything happened so fast once we got to the hospital and because Adam and I were doing well on our own.  It was really special and I'm so thankful for the chance to go through this with him. I think we were both in awe of each other at the end of the day.

In the end it just happened. I was pushing and pushing and then Wyatt was just there. My body just knew what to do. And the second Wyatt was born nothing else mattered. I felt incredible and invincible with him in my arms. We can do this! Women are strong and empowered by nature. Trust your body, trust your baby and trust yourself. Whether you are planning a natural childbirth or not, be educated so that you can know your options, but be open minded about the actual day; you aren’t in control, baby’s calling the shots on this one! But be confident in the fact that he wants out too, and that you and baby are working together to bring him into the world.

Birth Stories: Crystal's Deliberately Natural Birth

I especially love this story because it really supports what I'm learning in my Hypnobabies classes.  And I love how Crystal was supported in her journey to a natural birth by other women around her.  Feeling that support, feeling a part of something greater, and larger than ourselves is so important.  We are only one in a long chain of strong, empowered women who have accomplished the same great miracle that is bringing another life into being.

I played college soccer.  I could out run everyone on the team.  I excelled at physical endeavors and mentally approached everything as a competition.  When I became pregnant, all of that was preparation for the task at hand, a healthy and joyful birth; to make it the greatest moment of my life.  I knew I could do it.  When people asked, I told them, “I plan to have a natural birth.”  Followed by, “Yes, without an epidural.”  This was usually met with an apologetic look and, “Well, that is what my sister/cousin/friend/wife said and…”  Months of this and I too, began to doubt myself.  
Three weeks before my due date, I was downtown in a tiny shop.  A woman probably a decade older than me, whom I did not know, approached me.  She smiled and asked my due date.  I told her.  She leaned in and gently said, “It really doesn’t hurt.”  “What?”  I asked.  She looked at my slyly, “When I gave birth, it didn’t hurt.  I don’t know why they say that, ‘pain.’  It is such a false description; it is more of an intense pressure, a very intense pressure.  But it feels good; because your body knows what to do.”   We chatted more.  She told me her name, Margot, and her child birth preparation teacher, Ruth, the very same woman as ours.

Two days later, I could no longer deny the fact that I was in labor.  I went to work, I ate lunch, I called the doc.  My husband and I spent our last hours as just the two of us together walking our yard.  My water broke as I tried to sit in the swing.  We went to the hospital.  They were full.  I paced the halls as they found a room for us.  I rocked on a birthing ball and my nurse put her hands on my knees.  She looked me squarely in the eyes and said, “What do you think?”  Although I could barely speak and we had only just met, I told her the first thing that came to mind, “I want to do it naturally.”  She replied, “Great.  I know you can do it.”

We walked, we paced, I bounced on the birthing ball, we showered, we hit 10cm two hours after arriving at the hospital.  There was intense pressure.  An hour and a half of pushing later, our baby girl was born, beet red and healthy.  She was placed on my chest.  I sobbed tears of joy, my husband sobbed tears of joy.  Our nurse cried.  We named her Margot.  I sipped the only substance I was administered since I had been admitted, a cranberry and ginger-ale “cocktail.”  It was perfect.

My daughter’s birth was the most AMAZING experience.  Two women I had never met and who did not know me, believed in me.  They knew something many of those close to me doubted… that I could birth on my own terms.  I could have the birth that I wanted.  I will remember it vividly as the most powerful and awe inspiring moment in my life.  And you can too.  I know it. 

Birth Stories: Megan's Unexpectedly Natural Delivery

I love this story from Megan who says, "I decided to share my birth story today because it is something that I think about and draw strength from."
My birth story may be somewhat different than others read so far, but I am sharing to offer a different perspective.
My water broke at 7 am at home.  By the afternoon  I was checked into the hospital having regular painful contractions.  The nurses drew my blood as part of their normal routine.  The results of my blood platelet test were such that I was not a candidate for an epidural.  I was only dilated to a 3, the contractions were coming hard and fast, and I was in shock.  I had not planned on a 'natural birth.'  In fact, I tried to not think about the birth process the entire pregnancy.  I did not attend a childbirth prep class.  I did not read any childbirth books.  I was completely unprepared because I just planned on doing it the mainstream way.  That was no longer an option.  I was in a real life crash course in natural childbirth.
After a few minutes of majorly freaking out, my husband, the nurses, and my doctor talked me into gaining control.  They were telling me that I can do this and I started to believe them.  The contractions came and didn't seem to go.  Before one started tapering off the next one came.  Pressure points on my knees and hips became my life saver. I tried all sort of positions from standing to laying, but I found kneeling was the best for me.  When my mind was in the right spot, the contractions felt right.  They still hurt, but it was so natural. When it came time to push, I knew it and nothing felt so good.  It was 8pm when she arrived.  When the doctor laid her on my belly, it was such a wonderful feeling, words cannot describe how awesome I felt.  I had a beautiful baby girl and I was now a mother.  I did it.  I had
her in my arms and all the pain was gone.
I would not in a million years change the outcome of that platelet test.  I am so glad that I was forced into having a more open mind about childbirth.  I have done it once and I am forever changed.

Birth Stories: Morgan and Oliver, a Quick Arrival

I love this confident, calm story of a mama of two, gently bringing her third into the world at home.  Thanks for sharing, Morgan!
When I was pregnant with my third baby, after two natural childbirths before (one in a hospital and one in a birth center) it became apparent that a homebirth was going to be the experience we were wanting. So, we interviewed six midwives and finally found our match! She was supportive and hands-off, both important components in a care provider. 

I was due in early April, and had many many nights of prodromal labor. Every night for a week, I'd get excited thinking, "Maybe tonight!" only to wake up to find the contractions had disappeared. The night it finally became reality, I knew it in my bones. Tonight was the night. I had my husband assemble the birth tub and we went to sleep. At 1am I was awakened to a strange sensation. The contractions had returned but they did not hurt at all. I had a few very intense, pain-free contractions and decided I must be in labor. The midwife was called and came on over. My sister, three hours away, was called and started her journey to come tend the kids for me. As soon as I called the midwife, the contractions shifted from intense but pain-free to intense and very painful. I felt suddenly so out of control. Why? Why did they hurt so much all of a sudden? I tried to be patient waiting for the birth tub to fill. I used vocalization and my birth ball as my life line while I waited. My midwife and husband were spectacular, holding my hand, and speaking comforting words. 

FINALLY! The tub was full of hot water. Bliss! I felt so much more relaxed during and in between contractions. I was able to actually focus on what was happening and realized almost immediately that I needed to push! So, push I did. I listened to my body, and eased my baby onward and outward. My husband and midwife sat on the sides of the tub and each held a hand to steady me.  I went slow...slow...slow. It was hard, intensely difficult work, but it was good work. I would push, then wait while my body rested, then push, then wait. Finally, a HEAD! Then slowly a baby. He emerged in a fully intact bag of waters (called being born "in the caul") and under the water. I reached down, broke the bag with my hands and pulled up my baby. He was here! 

He was asleep. Apparently, the poor little man got tired from being born and promptly took a nap. Born into peace, he was snoring instead of screaming. I held him close and we both rested. My husband snapped a few pictures of our new little man, and the midwife checked everyone over to assure a safe arrival. All was well. i had gone from "maybe labor" to "Baby" in four hours. And in that time I had never once had an internal cervical exam. Yay!  My little sister had arrived 15 minutes before the birth and came in to meet her nephew then. I showered, and nursed while everyone else cleaned up and looked after us. My two older boys woke up soon after and came in to find that "the midwife had brought the baby!" No amount of us telling them that the midwife did NOT bring the baby could get them to believe us. All in all, it was a beautiful morning. We named our littlest one Oliver. 8lb 12oz and 19inches long.

Birth Stories: Jes and Veda, Unassisted at Home

It was New Years Day eve. The moon was full. Earlier in the evening we went for a drive; despite the heavy cloud cover, I found the moon: low, large, and a deep orange. I thought to myself, "If any moon could make a baby come, this is it."  But alas, I felt nothing.  That night, everyone went to bed, save myself.  I decided to spend another night knitting until my eyes were about to fall out. And knit I did. 

Right as I began to see the end of my project, I started feeling very mild, yet consistent, rushes. So with that, I went to sleep, thinking that once more, this would be nothing.  But at 6 am I woke with a slightly different feeling.  Now I was having consistent surges of pain in my hips. I lay in bed for a bit, changing positions, to see if they would subside.  They didn't.  So, I decided to get up, have a drink, and walk around.  This proved to only make them more noticeable, so I decided it was time to wake the boy and "get things ready".

We came downstairs and he began to fill the pool (with air).  I sat on my yoga ball, while Brian rushed around getting everything in its place.  Eventually, he began to fill the pool with water.  Naturally, my now-awake daughter, Dorothy wanted in, but I had decided that would be best saved for post emergence.  As soon as there was warm water in the pool, I joined it.  My rushes were enough to require a substantial amount of concentration at this point. Brian rushed around, boiling water on the stove, heating it in the electric tea kettle, draining the hot water heater, checking the water's temperature with a candy thermometer, while I sat in the mini-ocean that would never be deep enough, waiting.  Sort of patiently.

At some point I gave up conversing.  Not long after that I was "singing" my way through each rush, and using every cell within me to relax in between.  The pressure, I had never experienced pressure like this.  It was so strong, so forceful on my hips, my back, my pelvic floor, like a truck was trying to drive through me. Once the pool was full Brian came in to rub my back. I just really needed some sort of pressure to fight off the pressure from within.  And finally, I felt a gush; my membranes.  Ahhh, the pressure had by no means disappeared, but it certainly changed its face enough to keep my interest.  And not long after that I started to work in conjunction with my uterus.  At first meager pushes, mostly to give me somewhere to put all of this energy that would surge through me.  With each consecutive rush, stronger and stronger, I'd focus more energy, until I was using it all.  My body would hand me a huge rush of energy and power, and just as soon, I'd return it, to move the tiny baby along.

Then she was crowning.  The "ring of fire," and I had to wait, wait for another wave of energy, as she sat, preparing to emerge.  Then came her head.  The worst was over.  For the long minute or so while I waited to move her body, I could feel her head, its hair.  My other babies came out all at once, so this was new to me. I waited, and more energy came, and she was out, just before 8am, in Brian's arms.  Almost instantly she cried.  And cried.  Loud and proud.  I held her close and invited Dorothy to join us.  She was later dubbed "Veda-Lou Calidonia." images from Stock Exchange

Birth Stories: KC and Sofia

I'm so excited to begin this series of birth stories.  Every birth is so powerful and unique, each a miracle in its own way.  Between now and our baby's birth in July, I'm going to be sharing a story each week of a beautiful birth to serve as inspiration, education and a point of reflection and source of empowerment.  I hope you will enjoy reading them as much as I have enjoyed reading all the wonderful stories that have poured into my inbox (if you've been considering sharing yours, please do!  I don't know if I'll be able to share them all, but I've read and enjoyed every one and we still have plenty of weeks to share before July!)

KC says of her daughter Sofia's birth, "I get so filled up with joy every time I think about the experience that I feel as if my heart will burst!"  Here is the story in her own words:
My daughter Sofia was born on October 21st 2009 but her story really begins two days before that on Monday. That afternoon I went for my weekly visit with my midwife. I was extremely heavy, tired and wanted so much to get the show on the road! I was feeling anxious and flustered all day. So during my appointment when she told me my blood pressure was a little high, I was afraid she was going to tell me I couldn't give birth at the birth center. She sent me home that afternoon with all the necessary containers to do a 24 hour urine sample to test. When I got home, I cried in my mom's arms for at least half an hour.  She told me to cheer up, that I was going to have this baby tomorrow!

The next morning, which was Tuesday, my mom and I went for my morning walk. I thought it would do me good to get some air. Maybe it would help get things rolling. Halfway through our walk I started feeling twinges as if I had been dancing the twist too much, so my mother let me lean on her shoulder the rest of the way home. Around 1pm I wasn't feeling too hungry, but knew I needed to eat something for Sofia, so I had a salad and then sat on the couch with my mom. Next thing I knew I started having back pain. I thought to myself, "This is funny I've never had back pain with my Braxton-hicks before." Over the next three hours they continued to get stronger and stronger. I walked up and down the halls and rocked in circles on my birthing ball, breathing rhythmically . At 4pm I called my midwife Judith to tell her I had to come in, that my contractions were 2 minutes apart and 60 seconds long. I called my husband and told him to come home right away. By the time he arrived my mom had gotten all of my stuff packed in her car. By 5:00 we were headed to the birth center.

The first thing I wanted to do when I got to the birth center was to take off all my clothes. I felt completely primal, as if being naked was the only way to do this. The birth center here in Tucson is much like a house with a kitchen and 3 bedrooms. I was lucky enough to get the larger room with the tub, as no other births were happening that night. I lay down on the big queen bed and Judith checked to see how far along I was. At 5:30pm I was 60% effaced and 6 cm. At this point I went into a meditative state, paying attention to only what my body needed. My mom and my husband helped to support me and rock with me when I needed it.  Around 7:00 I got into the tub as I my body yearned to float in the water. Judith checked me one more time and with that contraction my sack of water broke. What an amazing release of pressure.  From that moment on I did not get out of the water until my daughter was born. Through deep breathing, I put myself into a state of deep meditation, so deep that I no longer felt my arms or legs. The only part of me I focused on was moving with the waves of my contractions and the in and out flow of my breath. I could only use my eyes to communicate as I felt I could no longer speak.

Around 10:30 I felt the most wonderful feeling in the world: the urge to push. I didn't need to be told when to do it, or how; my body just did it. It felt beautiful and powerful to vocalize with each push.  Occasionally Judith would remind me not to strain my arms when holding my legs and to keep my muscles loose. At this point the heat from my actions became overwhelming and I felt like I was in a sauna. My mom gently fanned me while my husband replenished the ice water wash cloths I had on my forehead and chest. When the ring of fire came between my legs I knew it wouldn't be much longer before I met Sofia. When she finally came out, Judith pulled her from the water and put her on my chest. She immediately snuggled deeply into my breasts as we waited for the cord to stop pulsing. I was completely amazed by the power of what I had just done, while everyone else was crying with joy, I was basking in the glorious feeling of having joined this ancient club of motherhood. As I held Sofia I said to her,  "We've taken this first amazing leap, now the real journey begins."  After birthing the placenta,  Sofia was handed back to me and we tried breastfeeding for the first time. She latched on like a pro, and the three of us snuggled the rest of the night. I couldn't sleep a wink, I just kept playing the experience over and over again in my head. images from Stock Exchange.