Here is a timely post from Meagan of EcoMILF. I love the idea of a babymoon and wish we had more traditions in our culture like those she mentions. I even checked the book Mothering the New Mother
out of the library to help me not feel like a lazy bum taking some time to get back into the swing of things. We're so all about getting right back to life as normal here in the states, even taking a sick day is seen as second best to taking some sudafed and muscling through the day. I'm so glad Meagan shared these beautiful thoughts and words.
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The arrival
of a new baby, whether it is your first or one of many, is a special
and precious time for new parents, especially Mothers. Unfortunately in
Western society today, there is often the lurking feeling that we should
continue going at high speed when the new baby arrives- to get the
shopping done, socialize and visit friends and extended family, do the
housework or to go back to your job as soon as possible- a pressure
which can contribute to exhaustion and even postpartum depression.
Many ancient cultures observed
forty days of sacred privacy and quiet for mother and baby. A ‘babymoon’
takes place the first 2 weeks after the baby is born, during which time
Mothers (and Fathers) are encouraged to stay at home as much as
possible, inviting very few visitors into their nest, in order to create
and establish the sacred bond between themselves and their baby. Some
Mothers assign someone they trust and love (like their own Mother or a
good friend) to take care of their other children, cook meals and
clean, so that they are able to focus solely on their new baby those
first couple weeks.
I
checked out of the hospital 8 hours after my son, North was born and
headed home for some quiet time together. Everything felt like it was
going in slow motion those first few magical days. The three of us were
able to cozy up in our little unit, and to connect and get to know each
other. With every cry or coo or hiccup I began to feel more confident in
myself as Mother. With few people around and visiting, I was able to
follow my instincts when it came to feeding, wrapping and comforting.
Generally, my instinct was- breast out and at the ready every moment and
because I was able to be uninhibited in my environment and to follow
this urge, North was able to stimulate and establish a strong milk
supply setting us up for a long and joyous breastfeeding relationship.
My Mother flew from Canada to stay with us for 10 days when North was a
few days old. She was the exact type of support a woman needs those
first few days- she put loads of laundry in and hung them to dry, she
cooked healthy lunches, baked muffins, prepared dinners and dusted,
vacuumed and mopped when needed. She never asked what needed to be done,
she knew and did it without question. Although I asked her questions
from time to time about her experiences as a new Mama, she never told
me how she thought something should be done. Instead, she allowed my
husband and I to live and learn and to experience everything for
ourselves.
I
am now 7 months into my second pregnancy with my due date rapidly
approaching. As it should be, everything is different now that I am
already a Mother. I am very aware that this time around I will feel even
more pressure to get back into the swing of things quickly, as I have a
toddler with scheduled activities to attend, and a hard-working husband
to provide for. But I am trying to mentally prepare for letting go. I
think it will be even more important this time to take a step back and
retreat to the comforts of our home and to welcome our second child with
the same sort of devotion and peace as we did our first. My Mother will
come and stay with us for another 10 days shortly after the birth and I
know that her presence will be of immense help and relief. As with the
last time, we will try to keep visitors to a minimum and clear our
timetables of any sort of commitments for the first two weeks. The focus
and priority will be to cherish each moment with our newest little one,
and to forge a bond between the four of us that will be everlasting.
Some ideas to help you plan your babymoon-
- have meals made and frozen before your due
date
- stock up on toilet paper, soap, laundry
detergent and other things you think you may need those first few weeks
- organize help from those you trust and are
most comfortable with. Don’t feel obligated to entertain friends,
family friends and relatives for the first couple weeks
- treat yourself to a new pair of pyjamas
before the baby is born because you’ll want to wear them most of the day
- enjoy every precious
moment because they will pass as quickly as they came
