Clay took Sam for his first ever father-son camp out this past weekend, which just warmed my heart. Apparently Sam camps like a champ and loved every minute of it. He was so excited to tell me how he slept in a sleeping bag, and sat on a log by the fire, and every little detail of the trip, all of which were equally exciting and new for him.
Just as lovely for me was the fact that their father-son bonding trip gave me an entire evening and morning to myself. I had really forgotten what that was like. Clay is great about taking care of Sam and giving me breaks while he's here, but there's just something different about an entirely silent house. I felt like I was single again, that luxury of living a life that revolves completely around yourself. I wish I knew what a luxury that was back then so I could have reveled in it a bit more.
This weekend I read without worrying about being interrupted or thinking I should only read a few more pages before getting someone to bed or making a snack. I spent at least fifteen minutes making a cup of fancy cocoa (and documenting it in photos). Then I nursed that mug for a good 45 minutes while snuggled down with a stack of books to leaf through. In the morning I spread out a quilt I was working on, right in the middle of the living room floor, without worrying about little feet traipsing all over it, or bothering to keep the pins out of reach. I didn't even realize little things that were such a treat:)
I really think that carving out special, mama alone time, is so crucially important to being a happy, well-balanced mom. Not that you have to send your husband and kids to the woods on a regular basis (though it's not a tradition I would discourage!), but finding ways to just breathe, to just think about your own needs for an hour or two, is so centering. I think we can gain a lot of happiness and joy from serving and taking care of other people. I'm not into that whole "you have to meet all your own needs before taking care of someone else" idea. I think that's a recipe for frustration and dissatisfaction on all sides. My life, which revolves around feeding, clothing, bathing and cleaning other people, is really immensely satisfying for me and makes me very happy. But, by trying to recognize that I do occasionally need a little time-out and honoring that, I can try and make sure that I don't burn out.
Here area few ideas I have for carving out a little mom-time:
- Get up earlier or later than your kids, and don't do the laundry or anything else like that, just enjoy a cup of tea, a good book, a long bath or whatever makes you feel like you.
- Arrange a regular swap with another mom and use the time to relax; catch a matinee, take a nap, give yourself a pedicure. Then pick up your kids, refreshed and excited to see them.
- If you're feeling overwhelmed or turning into grouchy mom, just take a little time-out: stop doing the dishes, forgo the plans to weed the garden, forget the elaborate dinner; you can have fried eggs and toast. And just go outside, or sit and read books with your kids. If you can't have time to yourself, at least enjoy some time with your kids that makes you feel relaxed and happy. Forget all the "should-dos" and just enjoy the fun and sweet parts of being a mom.
