When I was pregnant people kept saying to me ‘you must be terrified’
and when I said not really they told me, with a knowing nod, that I
only felt that way because I didn’t know better. And when I told them I
wanted a natural childbirth I was told I was crazy and only felt that
way because I hadn’t given birth yet. I mean I wasn’t thrilled about
birth because, you know, I had heard it’s no walk in the park! But I
wasn’t really scared either. I was certainly a bit apprehensive but I
really tried not to dwell on it. I didn’t want to psych myself out or
make myself crazy [or actually scared] envisioning all of the worst
possibilities.I really just focused on my sincere belief that women are built for
this and that women have been birthing babies since the beginning of
time. I tried to just trust my body. It had been making a baby for 9
months with little help from me - I figured it could handle the rest
too! My baby daddy and I took a class and read a lot and tried to be educated about the
processes and options but also to keep an open mind about the
experience. I felt avoiding preconceptions was also the best way to
avoid panic if something didn’t go according to plan.
I was supposed to have my baby at the Cambridge Birth Center but when my water broke there was meconium in it and according to MA law I was required to transfer to a hospital in case my baby needed immediate medical care. My amazing midwife just packed me up and wheeled me across the street to the hospital, pausing for my contractions. She stayed with me the entire time, guiding me through birth and was wonderful about looking out for me and my interests, given that I had been planning an intervention-free water birth at the birthing center. I was disappointed for a moment but then there wasn’t any time to think about it. And besides, what was to be disappointed with? I was about to have a baby!
I was amazed by how much my body just did on its own. It was incredible. My mom was behind my head wiping my forehead with a cold washcloth between pushes (ladies, I highly recommend assigning someone to this task; you don’t realize how hot you are until that cloth touches your forehead between pushes and feels incredibly cool and refreshing) and my BD, Adam, was holding one leg while a nurse held the other. Adam was unbelievable. When I was having really strong contractions he stood in front of me while I was sitting and I just squeezed his middle and pushed my head into his stomach while he held my head and rubbed my shoulders. He reminded me when to breath, gave me encouragement just when I needed it and really kept me grounded and focused. I can’t imagine doing it without him. We had a doula scheduled but never ended up calling her because everything happened so fast once we got to the hospital and because Adam and I were doing well on our own. It was really special and I'm so thankful for the chance to go through this with him. I think we were both in awe of each other at the end of the day.
In the end it just happened. I was pushing and pushing and then Wyatt was just there. My body just knew what to do. And the second Wyatt was born nothing else mattered. I felt incredible and invincible with him in my arms. We can do this! Women are strong and empowered by nature. Trust your body, trust your baby and trust yourself. Whether you are planning a natural childbirth or not, be educated so that you can know your options, but be open minded about the actual day; you aren’t in control, baby’s calling the shots on this one! But be confident in the fact that he wants out too, and that you and baby are working together to bring him into the world.
